The Rules of Servitude
by EverObservant
Summary: Have you ever wondered what thoughts crossed the minds of the heads of staff during their time together? This is my take on a whirlwind journey. A recap look at every moment we see of them together on screen. CANON
1. Chapter 1

Season 1 Episode 1

 **A/N:**

 **As I devoured a large portion of the Chelsie fanfiction available, I found myself looking for a story that looked at every moment we see of these two beautiful creations together, I didn't find one and have no original ideas of my own so here is the product.**

 **This chapter had to be split with the individual thoughts not interwoven like the rest will be.**

 **I do not own these two, if I did there would be a lot more moments with them alone together in Mrs Hughes sitting room with maybe one too many glasses of sherry**.

April 1912

 _Mrs Hughes sighed as she strode purposefully down the corridor that led to the kitchen. Charles…Mr Carson, she mentally scolded herself, was in one of his usual morning flaps as he polished the silver. She didn't get to see him but she heard him booming at William to get the paper. His voice, oh his beautiful voice that sent her heart racing. He was her worst distraction and her brightest part of the day. She was totally and completely in love. She glanced her head to the left at a clatter to shake her from her thoughts and shook her head, thankful for the interruption._ Get a hold of yourself lass _,_ it wouldn't be right to swoon at the thought of him in plain sight. _With that she raised her head and prepared for another run in with Mrs Patmore about the store cupboard, and headed into the kitchen._

-CE-

Mr Carson had come down after dressing and immediately headed for the silver cupboard in his pantry and barricaded himself away. When William knocked and entered he was a little disappointed that it wasn't _her_. Of course it wasn't her, he heard her pass just as he yelled at William and cringed, now she defiantly thought of him as a cranky old butler. Damn it to hell of course he was off kilter, his thoughts returned to the conversation at hand and gestured with the candlestick he was polishing for William to take out the ironing board. He imagined her swaying down the hallway, her hips moving with every precise step, and the chatelaine grasped in her hand today he noted, jangling happily. Her footsteps and her keys were the noises that made her…along with her beautiful lilting voice and gorgeous laugh. Oh he could stand here thinking of her all day. He nearly dropped the candlestick when the knock at the back door pierced his happy fog and he hastily set it down to symbolise the end to his thoughts. He took a deep breath and took off his apron, put on his coat and pondered the thought of how beautiful she would look this morning, with that thought he could last through breakfast.

 _-CE-_

 _Breakfast was a hurried occasion as usual, but she didn't mind when she had the privilege to be seated beside the towering figure of the butler. Something had set her on edge today…or maybe it was just the freezing air of the surrounding moors seeping through the walls. Either way she made certain to keep her knees from touching his, she couldn't risk falling into the earlier trap of pondering him…her…them…together on work hours, and in front of the maids she lectured on propriety. She felt a right hypocrite. Here she was dreaming of a man she could never have and there she was telling off her maids for flirting with a footman. She sighed and smiled to herself,_ if you're the only one who knows your hypocritical nature then I'm sure we'll be fine _. Not wanting to be caught openly staring, she watched him out of the corner of her eye and noticed that he stayed silent. When Thomas spoke signalling the bells were beginning to ring, she looked up and answered him:_

" _ **No rest for the wicked."**_

 _Well that surely had slipped the filter. Now is not the time to say what you're thinking lass, she reprimanded herself after returning her eyes to her oats as if nothing was wrong, but she could not escape the light blush that crept up her neck. Her face grew hotter as she realised that her words had earned the attention of the man seated beside her._

-CE-

He had been observing her out of the corner of his eye. She was of course in her usual navy blue and silver striped dress with the slightly paler blue blouse underneath. He loved that one, she was comfortable in it and it moved well, if he could be so bold. His favourite part was the lace detailed collar with the shining little flower broach pin she wore in the column of her throat. He thought himself very feminine for thinking so but as a butler he was trained to have an eye for detail, and the details of her were his favourite to note. His second favourite part of the dress was the belt; it drew in the fabric enough to accentuate her curves but not enough to demand attention from anyone who was not looking for it. He couldn't say he was one of the gentlemen here, he had sneaked a glance to the southern region as she walked away from him once or twice. The dress was so simple and so her, not that she was simple in any way, merely that she didn't need flashy items to make her beauty shine. Taken by thoughts he didn't utter a word throughout breakfast and was only woken from his thoughts by the melodic notes of the beautiful Scottish housekeeper's voice.

" _ **No rest for the wicked."**_

Had she really said that? He inclined his head towards her to see her gaze return to her bowl as if nothing had happened, except something had. He saw the blush rise from the neck and marvelled at how alight it made her look, she glowed to him. He wondered what had made her choose those words, and the blush afterwards, obviously something went on in her head. He wished he knew what made her tick.

 **A/N: Their first scenes…tell me your thoughts?**

 **I will be uploading the first 3 chapters in quick succession because I think the first few work better as a consecutive story but after that once a week**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: not a scene but their perspectives on the Titanic**

 _She had lost all sense of stability since she heard the whispers. The titanic had sunk and so had the family's notion of the future. There was to be a new heir to replace poor Master Patrick. She didn't know him well but had watched him grow from the shadows for years when he visited frequently. With one chunk of ice a family was thrown off kilter. Could one chunk of ice ruin her? Had it already? She remembered her earlier words to Mrs Patmore in the kitchen: "I can't make myself believe it" and it was true. How could something as strong and sturdy as that ship keel over? Kill all those people and leave millions grieving? Their lives at Downton were ordered and safe but this event just put into perspective how uncertain everything is. Those people didn't know it was their last hug or kiss from their loved one, nor did she know whether she would die without saying anything to Charles. Mr Carson…oh if he had been on board she didn't know what she would have done, how she would have coped. This had cracked her but that would have torn her apart._

He felt the energy drain from him as he read the words printed on the page. The ship built with pride, meant to signal the strength of everything he stood for was lost, and all those lives snatched away in the freezing midnight water. He was drained because Downton no longer had an heir. The reports were sure Master Patrick had been claimed by the sea and that left the family, his family in the lurch. He grieved for their grief; he felt their loss as if it were his own. He rose from his desk, straightened his back and strode purposefully up to the dining room to attend breakfast. There was no telling what would happen next. His life no longer had the order he worked so hard to erect.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I watched the episode in great depth to find every moment they spend together, in an effort to make sense of "the dance" they do around each other as other writers have called it.**

 **Again I don't own these amazing human beings or their world.**

 _Mr Bates' arrival had put everyone in a bit of a flap. Mrs Hughes found him in the kitchen and questioned him about his leg and the stairs. She found herself interrupted by the smooth silky voice of her butler._ He's not yours, don't forget _._

" **Alright Mrs Hughes, I'll take it from here thankyou"**

 _She turned and took a step toward him, battling the need to close her eyes and smile at his presence. She kept her eyes cast down as she turned and placed herself at a 45 degree angle to him, slightly closer than normally, but still keeping that damnable propriety, and clasped her hands tightly in front of her to keep from touching him. She could not keep herself from inclining her head towards him as he spoke though, with this new closeness she could almost feel the vibration of his voice through his broad, strong chest._

He felt her step closer than she normally would be but refused to allow himself to stray from the task at hand: welcoming the new valet. He didn't, couldn't look at her. From his vantage point, if he dared look, he would be able to see the fabric of her dress stretched across her…he growled internally at himself for such vulgar thoughts and returned to the conversation he was conducting.

" **I hope your journey was satisfactory"**

"It was fine, thank you"

 _Though this exchange she found herself watching for Mr Bates' reaction to his welcome, she shifted slightly, ready to defend her man if it became necessary. She watched his face but found no signs of disrespect or disdain._

" **I am the butler of Downton, my name is Carson"**

 _At these words she found that her heart fluttered in her chest and she needed to breathe deeply to settle it and raised her head as he spoke his name. She was so proud to be able to stand next to this amazing man and call herself his equal and to hear him exert his authority so simply, and at the same time reminding her of just how powerful he was_. Oooh, if only he knew what he did to her…he would be disgusted, pull yourself together you crazy girl _._

For the next part of it he had to address her directly, he cleared his throat and without thinking his voice became lower and gentler as he spoke.

" **I assume that everything is ready for Mr Bates' arrival"**

Her answering voice was equally as gentle, he noted, but couldn't look at her and remained watching Mr Bates, his gaze steady.

 _She heard his tone change as he addressed her and sighed internally_. Beautiful man _. Instinctively her voice matched his and she spoke gently, glancing back to catch his eye, but found his gaze trained on the new valet. Seeing this she couldn't help her eyes trail to his broad shoulders for a moment. His avoidance of her eyes had made her slightly agitated by the time she finished speaking, however she managed to pass it off as annoyance at Mr Watson._

" _ **I've put him in Mr Watson's old room, thought he left it in quite a state I can tell you"**_

 _Tactless men, the one moment I look for assurance and find nothing from you then the next you've got my heart again. Truth be told he never really looses it._

He signalled for Thomas to take the valet to his new room, and stepped beside her to allow him to pass.

 _She inhaled shallowly, she could smell his cologne and his pomade, a smell that she knew anywhere._

He released the tension he didn't realise he had been holding in his shoulders with a breath, and breathed in her strong and steady presence beside him, plus her heady scent of lavender and lemon. He swept his gaze to the onlookers from the kitchen and spoke.

" **Thank you everyone"**

As he spoke the last word his gaze lingered on her and he sighed at the small smile she gave him.

 _Was she mistaken to think that his gaze lingered on her after he spoke? Her heart quickened and they locked eyes._

 _Of course the "whatever it was_ " _was ruined by Miss O'Brien and her inability to not have the last word._

"Well I can't see that lasting long"

Immediately both of them swept their heads to glare at her for her impertinence and if he dared think it, _for ruining their moment._

 _She turned away from him and fixed the ladies maid with a withering glare. She was thankful that she didn't have to speak because no words could have formed within this vicinity of him anyway._

" **Thank you Miss O'Brien"** he said firmly and strode down the corridor to his pantry.

 _Still agitated by the remark and further by the loss of his presence she licked her lips shakily, took a calming breath and hastened a quick glance to where he had disappeared._

 **A/N: I honestly don't know how anyone could not ship these two. The words they are given are enough, then you add the amazing actors and their phenomenal chemistry and boom, in episode 1 there is one moment that is meant to mean something and you can tell via the little piano music in the background (can't find it anywhere btw, so if someone has then tell me because I needs it) but the rest just happen and dear lord I don't know how Lord Fellowes managed to keep them apart for so long.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This is more of a filler chapter but I think it's important to explain some things the way I see them in my head…plus it's a little bit early so there will still be another one uploaded in 2 days :D**

 **I don't own them, sadly.**

He had loved this woman for longer than he cared to admit and cherished even the smallest moments they shared. Over the years she had won his heart, with her gentle teasing, beautiful lilting Scottish brogue and her smile. He loved all of her, but had resigned himself to never having her. Why would she want him? He may be the butler of a grand house but that meant nothing, nothing when it came to love.

The thought had been lurking in his mind for years and at the most inopportune moments would send forth an image of him and her together, performing some mundane task like shopping, but they were always together, there was always a wedding band glinting on her finger and she always gazed at him with love.

Sure, he was a man but he had found no need to engage in foolish dalliances in his youth and after he met her, there was no one else he would have. In a way, he was saving himself for her **…** _foolish stupid man, saving yourself, seriously for a woman who has never looked your way? Stupid_. But those dreams of them together walking to the village, stopping on the patch of grass to kiss her gently…

No. He had resigned himself to a single life, there are rules to service and a butler and a housekeeper are never married.

Never married…

-CE-

 _She had suspected for years that she might hold a higher regard for the butler but did her best to repress her feelings because of the rule, the damned golden rule_ _ **,**_ _butlers and housekeepers were never married and never to each other._

 _But even then she found her thoughts drifting to the strong and stoic man who lived and worked down the hallway. She cherished their little glances and always looked for him in a room before anyone else. She was in love with him, plain and simple. Not so plain and simple was the way she had to conduct herself around him, as if nothing had changed. That extra wall was the most difficult to keep up but the most important. He must never know of her feelings, because she daren't hope that he might return them…no never, someone of his position could never, would never fancy a simple spinster housekeeper such as herself. No, she would keep silent and enjoy what they had. They were friends, as simple as that, and colleagues too. The only small pleasure she allowed herself was to tease him gently and goad him a little as well, just to see him break from his butler mould and appear human for even a few seconds. Small, little things kept her happy and she could live with that._

 _Most of the time she prided herself on her ability to keep her heart locked up safely but as there were no real contenders for a long time who had any shot in getting close to her, she had loosened the reins. When she had first come to Downton, she had been unprepared for the pleasant assault he had unknowingly made to her heart. He had won it fair and square and neither of them realised for a long time. That was until she became housekeeper and began spending more time by his side. The realisation had not shocked her but comforted her, until she remembered who she was and who she had to pretend to be. She had to be the spinster housekeeper, never touched, never married. That was her chosen path, who she had to be._

 **A/N: Thoughts? Do you agree or do you see them differently?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Once again I have never owned them or their situations, I merely wish to give them more thoughts than the show allows**

 **"Downton is a great house Mr Bates, and the Crawley's are a great family…"**

 _She had heard many variation of this and to be perfectly honest she hated having to be reminded how important the house was to him…to be perfectly honest it was because she could never believe that if it_ _ **ever**_ _came down to it, he would choose them over her._ Not that it ever would my dear.

 _She tuned back in as he continued._

" **We live by certain standards and these standards can at first seem daunting"**

 _Yes Charles, because your standards are much too high for anyone to measure up to._ Where did that come from? Oh lord woman quell your pit of insecurities for one minute and stop reading into everything.

 _She calmed and decided to show that she supported him by nodding along._

He was unsure of the suitability of Mr Bates to the job of his lordship's valet and so decided to give him a talk in front of everyone. He took great pride in talking about his precious standards especially for the house, but there was a set of standards that were measurable to only one and those were the ones that ruled his heart…

Just as he had settled himself in his chair, successful in his interrogation, the earl of Grantham entered and he had to rise again.

It surprised him greatly to have Lord Grantham visit the servant's hall, the two of them being the main upholders of standards and propriety in the abbey, but nonetheless he was interested to know the reason for the downstairs trip. The earl entered just as he sat down, next to his Elsie, to have luncheon like a couple, maybe he came in to remind you just how foolish your fantasies are while you are employed as a butler of a fine house. Listen to you lecturing about propriety when your thoughts are in the gutter, shame on you.

 _She hastily rose from her seat, wondering what on earth he was doing down here. She shared a quick glance with Charles,_ Jesus woman his name is Mr Carson to you, remember that _, and dropped her eyes to the table as not to intrude in the conversation that was happening behind her chair and to stop her from drinking in the sight of the man next to her. Upon the Earls insistence the women, including her sat back down quietly. His next words made her eyes flick to the butler._

"I just wanted to say a quick hello to my old comrade in arms"

Immediately he looked to Mrs Hughes, _good boy, now you're getting the hang of this propriety thing, her name is not Elsie to you_ , to see whether she knew of this. The concealment of this information made him look like a, _excuse my language_ a bit of an ass for the way he treated him. There had been no special treatment but he certainly showed that he had doubts from the beginning.

His surprise had made him look to her for support without travelling the regular path through his brain and hence his guard was down and he reacted instinctively. Within seconds her eyes found his and they shared their surprise. He broke it after a short while and turned back to his Lord.

 _She was surprised, she had wondered why Bates had been hired with his injury but she had not expected this and she had not expected him to keep it secret._

 _Inadvertently her head turned to him and found his eyes already searching for hers. They met for a brief moment until he exhaled shallowly and turned back to the commanding conversation._

Later that night after dinner, he sat in his pantry decanting wine, thinking about earlier. What had it meant? In the moment he had no time to think, had to stay switched on in the presence of his lord, but now he had time to think. And all he could think about was her eyes; the way they found his almost immediately after the new information came to light. Her eyes, sometimes they looked brown in low light but he knew, knew very well that they were the colour of deep seas. Oceans that were never seen, that hid secrets. He loved the way they crinkled in the corners when she smiled and sparkled when she made a joke or her fiery Scottish temper was awakened. He had seen both kinds of sparkle, one he would say more than the other, _have a guess which one mate, you'll probably get it right_ and he loved both. Both made him want to kiss her as passionately as they argued or as sweetly as they joked, _he daredent call it "flirted"…did he? No._ He could not allow himself to imagine the sweetness they shared, which was sometimes worse than not being able to see her at all. Being near the one you love is sometimes equally as hard as being away from them.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Firstly sorry for the long absence, I went on holiday and forgot to update. To make up for it here are 4 chapters.**

 **I'm surprised I haven't said it earlier but I'd like to thank Chelsie Dagger for reading over my initial works and their particular help with chapter 6 which was about twice the size before editing**

 **I wish I knew where to find the little piano music used behind this scene because I need it so bad, it makes me cry and this scene. I sometimes just sit and watch it on repeat; I think I have an obsession…oops?**

 _This is how she found him, hunched over his bottle of precious wine and his decanting tools. She knocked lightly on the door and heard the deep mumble of approval to enter. She opened the door and watched him for a few seconds, loving the way he was so precise in his work, she took a step inside and held the door against her back for support, these were the times she fell harder for him, when they were alone together, and in his pantry she felt particularly off kilter and yet steadied because it was so him. The room was the embodiment of her Charles. She failed to even correct herself this time and decided to go for a household matter to discuss, it seemed like an easy and simple thing._

 _ **"They've all gone?"**_ _she said, referring to the guests of the memorial luncheon that had been set in the dining room._

Her simple knock woke him from his thoughts. He knew that knock anywhere, he was surprised he didn't hear her footsteps approaching his door but chalked it down to daydreaming. He didn't look up when she entered, he knew she was there and he needed a few moments to regain his composure of "the butler who is just your friend." He simultaneously loved and hated being this version of himself because on one hand he loved joking with her and their late night chats but at the same time he hated having to hold so much back. _You're only holding back what is unwanted so count yourself lucky that you have some control_. He continued to decant the wine in the contraption and answered her question with a simple, short reply.

 **"They have thank the lord,"** he replied simply.

 _She inhaled, relieved that her offering had been accepted. She took a few steps further into the room._

 _ **"And what about the lawyer?"**_

 _She pulled herself back then from entering further into the room, into his sanctuary, unsure of her welcome still, even after all the years she had known him. She rocked on her heels and stood firm, her arms at her sides._

 **"No, he was the first away, didn't even stay for the luncheon"**

 _ **"I wish they'd make their minds up. Gwen's put clean sheets on the blue room bed, now she'll just have to strip it again"**_

Oh her beautiful voice, the way it caressed those words, the unintentional rolling of the 'r's and her lengthened vowels, how he loved her voice and loved to hear her say his name. He mentally kicked himself and returned to the conversation with his goddess.

He felt a little rebellious but wanted to joke with her about what they really had to talk about in life, the making and unmaking of beds, _yay for us and our exciting lives, eh?_

 **"Can't you leave it for the next guest?"** As he spoke this gentle quip, he stopped the decanted and placed the bottle on the desk, wanting to hear and see her reaction.

 _ **"Well only if you don't tell,"**_ _she played along, revelling in the insignificances they shared as heads of downstairs, making it sound like they shared a secret far more significant than what it was._

He chuckled darkly at that and finally looked at her. _She took a deep breath and stepped closer again._

She stepped closer and immediately he felt her scent waft over him.

 _ **"So, has it all been settled?"**_

 _She was of course referring to the decision of the new heir, and as it concerned upstairs, it concerned them below stairs as well._

He fell into the routine of delivering news and added his personal views on the matter through his delivery.

 **"There's a fellow in Manchester with claims to the title I gather but it's all a long way from settled,"** he blustered.

 _At that remark she was again overwhelmed with the sense that the family always came first. Always. She turned her head away from him and looked out the window._

He watched her, seeing the light highlight the beautiful colour of her eyes.

 _ **"You mustn't take it personally"**_

 _She loved to play on his loyalty to the family, it was a topic he was very passionate about and she loved to see him so fired up, it made his voice richer._

Surely she knew him better than that? Of course he took it personally, his family, their family was on shaky ground. He regarded the upstairs family as loyal employers and when it came down to it, they were in a way his family and therefore hers.

 **"I do take it personally, Mrs Hughes, I can't stand by and watch our family threatened with the loss of all they hold dear."**

There, that was the best way to put it. They were his family, they cared for him and he cared for them. The loss of Patrick had made them all closer upstairs, himself included, he wanted to include her too.

 _Did he call them our family? Are you joking? The people who pay us to clean their floors, cook their dinner and wake up at 4am? No, they are not our family._

 _ **"They're not our family,"**_ _she retorted, chuckling at him_

 **"Well they're the only family, I've got!"**

As soon as he said he wanted to take it back. How could he have spoken such careless words? He saw her then, snatching her gaze from the window back to him. She looked so fragile, the light in her beautiful blue eyes and the way she looked at him was heart wrenching, he had cut deep with that. He saw her eyes glisten slightly more, the cheerful sparkle gone from earlier, but no tears fell. She was stronger than that. Of course he regarded her as family, of their little collection of downstairs children as their own. She in particular had provided the kindness of a mother and he the strictness of a father figure, they were his family just as much as the upstairs people they served. How could he say that?

 _Of course the stupid blustering man said that. Of course he did, and yet she couldn't stop her face from turning to him, expression showing exactly how crestfallen she felt. She really did mean nothing to him. Nothing. She was just the rickety old housekeeper whom he joked with occasionally, not his friend, not his family. The little motley crew of downstairs they had nurtured and disciplined together, meant nothing did they? Was that not enough of a family for him? No, he had wounded her with those seven words more than she could have imagined, but she refused to let him see her cry. She was stronger than that, strong enough to let him think he hadn't hurt her. But he had, and she knew that he knew. Her eyes dropped to the floor and stayed there._

He couldn't bear to look at her and see the hurt anymore, he too lowered his eyes. He blinked twice, licked his lips, looked up but didn't think he had the right to apologise to her so addressed his knees.

He cleared his throat and began: **"I beg your pardon."** But I don't deserve it, I have no right to ask and you have no prerogative to give it. I am so sorry for the hurt I caused you and unwittingly therefore myself. Forgive me my love.

 _Are you kidding? You think that will help, my pardon for your ruthless words?_

His knees seemed understanding of his suffering and he was quite content to remain staring at them forever, if they'd allow it, if it meant he didn't have to watch her in pain, the pain that he had caused with his thoughtless words.

 _She saw his distress at her reaction and his immediate regret; her heart forgave him even if her mind did not. She watched him for moment then decided now was the time, the question she had pondered on for such a long time and recently it had been a constant thought. Could they have been stable together, far away from here without all the prescribed grieving of the lost heir? Would it have been different to just have each other, and their children to think of and not how to compose themselves in front of the family? She looked down and blinked a few times to ensure no tears fell as she stepped forward, closer to him. She was never lost for words but this, this was different, this was baring her soul to him and hoping he didn't stab her heart like a few seconds previously._

He was surprised when she spoke again, softly, gently, as if coaxing a lamb.

 _ **"Do you…ever wish you'd…gone another way?"**_

 _She didn't look at him when she spoke, her voice gentle, hiding the broken shards that lay beneath the surface. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and waited._

 _Her question roused him from his intense stare at the sideboard and he looked so beautiful and so caught off guard that she wanted to run into his arms right then and there. She sensed he needed more information, took a deep breath and continued._

She had his attention now. He knew what she was asking but needed to know exactly what she wanted from him. She took a breath and spoke again.

 _ **"Worked in a shop or a factory…had a wife and children?"**_

 _…With me? Would I have been enough for you? Would you have had me then, would you still want me now?_

That's what he thought. Of course he did, he wanted her, he wanted a gaggle of little giggling girls all with her beautiful auburn hair and blue eyes, perhaps one with his eyes. Of course he had abandoned that thought long ago, but oh how he longed to just hold her, pull her close and smell her hair. All the thoughts of what could have been had resurfaced since the news. His had to fight so much harder now to keep himself afloat. He wasn't sure how to answer so deflected it.

 **"Do you?"**

 _His voice was velvet, rich, deep and dark and his eyes so youthful and full of the sorrow he had just caused. She felt compelled to answer him, he had to know._

She was much more careful with her chosen words.

 _ **"I don't know…maybe…sometimes"**_

Did that mean that she had thought about it too?

 _She gazed at him as she spoke, willing him to see what she truly meant, what she truly wanted to say. His face was soft, so relaxed and pained all at once. She needed his answer._

He mustered the courage to speak but there was a knock at the door.

 **A/N: I would kill to know what Fellowes would have done with that scene if Gwen hadn't interrupted them.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Still don't own the pretties, just pondering their inner thoughts, they will be returned at the end unharmed.**

 _The knock at the door had set them back in their household places, and no longer as Charles and Elsie, could have been. But could they have_? _Oh lass, you'll never find out, do let it go. She allowed her attention to return to the banter between Gwen and Mr Carson._

" **Is Thomas back yet?"**

"Not yet Mr Carson"

 _She watched Gwen disappear from the door and turned back to him with expectant eyes. Where was Thomas and why had he been allowed time off? It amused her greatly when he gestured wildly and used a tone as if he was an impertinent child answering his mother_

Gwen left and he looked back to the housekeeper standing before him. She raised her eyebrows questioningly and titled her head, expecting an explanation. He loved that look, but he knew it meant trouble for him. Suddenly he felt a little defensive and his next words showed that, _sigh_ , he was such a child.

" **He asked if he could run down to the village, I didn't see why not"**

-0000-

A duke was coming to Downton and he wanted to make sure that everyone who was to be upstairs for the welcoming committee, looked sharp and well dressed. They stood before him in a half circle as he patrolled. She stood to his right, at one edge of the shape. As he did his last checks, he avoided checking her. He didn't check her appearance when they were alone and he daren't do it in front of the staff in case something came to light.

He knew that today she had chosen the black dress with the patterned collar that extended to create a neckline look. He loved this one. It was her night dress, for formal occasions. If you were close enough to her, as he sometimes found himself, you could see the pattern in shiny black thread that lay there. But that wasn't his favourite part. This dress made his imagination work overtime. The plunging patterned section highlighted for him just exactly where her breasts lay. Where the two fabrics joined was where her femininity became prominent, and the belt. Oh this belt was far tighter than the other dresses, it gave away her hourglass figure that he so often dreamed of.

No if he had cast his eyes over her, he would be a goner, and he couldn't have that before he was to present his staff to the duke.

 _He didn't look at her. She was torn between being hurt and grateful. If he had looked at her, he would have seen such a loving expression on her face that he would have been taken aback. She watched him, with all his quirks of propriety, as he fixed Williams lapels and eyed Thomas's livery closely. She loved watching him work. She pulled herself from her reprieve and settled on doing one final check of the housemaids, shipshape and up to standard, just as you trained them._

 _They set off up the stairs on his command, heading for the front entry._

 _They climbed the stairs side by side in companionable silence; they didn't need words when they were together. They both knew how important this was, to the family and to Lady Mary in particular. They reached the back door and he waved her through before him. She smiled shyly; glad their relationship had survived the earlier dint._

 **A/N: ok so I know I said I would stick to the cannon scenes but I wanted to extend the downstairs one a tiny bit more and to make sure the context makes sense for the next chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: don't own them, just borrowing, don't worry the box is marked 'fragile' so they will be cared for**

 _They lined themselves up in front of the house to await the duke. The car pulled up and the ladies stepped out the door to greet them. His lordship followed the duke out of the motor and welcomed him officially. The maids and Mrs Hughes curtseyed and the male staff bowed their heads in respect. This line up was exactly like any other. They stood beside one another, with the appropriate distance of colleagues between them, though slightly separated from the rest of the staff, as heads of house. She loved standing this close to him; she could feel his pride in the family and the staff radiating from him and was close enough to be enveloped in his scent. His lordship asked Carson if it would be too much trouble to have a footman act as the duke's valet for his stay and when he answered she dropped her eyes to the gravel and took a breath. His voice was her weakness, the one thing that kept her human in the hallowed halls she worked in. She knew she could not show any emotion in from of her employer, her staff or him for that matter and the best way was to look at the ground and breathe._

Ah the line-ups, he felt like a father showing off his children, so proud and so content to have her next to him after yesterday's mess up. Standing beside her was his favourite part in the job, when he got to present her as his female half, it made him feel like they were a married couple every time. He kept his hands firmly tucked together behind his back to avoid reaching out to draw her hand into the crook of his elbow. Her hair looked a darker brown in the sunlight, with all he strands being caught by the breeze. He knew he would be able to see the colour of her eyes from here, and her proud smile. Oh he was so in love.

The welcome was going very well until Mr Bates tripped over and sprawled on the gravel. He inhaled sharply and gritted his teeth at the standard it had now dropped too. He refused to break the line until the family were safely inside and instead stood fuming silently next to her. After the family departed her strode quickly and formally into the house without saying a word.

 _After Mr Bates tripped over she worried how he would react. She felt him stiffen beside her and could almost hear his teeth grinding against one another. She wanted to step in front of him, lay reassuring hands on his chest and kiss his cheek. But of course she couldn't. When he went striding into the house, she stayed where she was watching him until he was out of sight. She hated seeing him so stressed like this. Sighing, she followed the staff in the servant's entry, leaving Anna to help Mr Bates. She had noticed those two; she knew all that went on under this roof. Anna was naturally a kind girl but she was very kind to Mr Bates. Elsie knew exactly where that train was headed and she was very happy for the two of them._

 **A/N: This chapter was for some reason very difficult to write. I couldn't find the right words or structure for a few days and so we had a staring competition and finally I won out. Tell me what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Don't own them**

He sat in his chair at the head of the table in the servant's hall. His head was resting on the back of the chair with his eyes closed. It had been a long day and he was exhausted.

 _She watched him in her peripheral vision, he looked exhausted. She wanted to massage his temples, kiss his eyelids and curl up in his lap. But she couldn't._

 _When he spoke in response to Daisy's natter she was intrigued._

He was half tuned in to the conversations happening around him and when Daisy started rambling about Lady Mary becoming a duchess he opened his eyes. This he would join in with…

" **There is no reason why the eldest daughter and heiress of the earl of Grantham should not wear a duchesses coronet with honour"**

At the end of his speech he nodded to Mrs Hughes, sitting beside him. She looked as beautiful as ever, and perhaps a little rosy in the warmth of the fire tonight.

 _She was confused, girls couldn't inherit could they?_

" _ **Heiress, Mr Carson, has it been decided?"**_

She spoke openly, keeping everyone who was listening included but the inner conversation they had was one of smaller, more private.

 _When she had answered him two conversations came to be. There was the obvious one that was heard by all, but also the one with their eyes. There was so much uncertainty between them and yet she managed to stabilize them so they could be as they were. None of it made sense and yet none of it was confusing, that was them, that was how they were._

" **It will be if there's any justice in the world"**

He too kept his tone open but noticed their smaller banter within it. He spoke of a choice as if it had already been made, then she had questioned him on it and he had outlined that it hadn't without saying it specifically. Their relationship was like this, with both of them unsure of where they stood and when they thought they were in one place, they were actually in another. Were they friends or were they occasional flirters? Were they colleagues or were they more? Neither of them knew but both of them wanted too.

 _He was so passionate, so determined that his precious Lady Mary have what she deserved. She sighed, if only he was that passionate about her_

" _ **Well, we'll know soon enough"**_

She said as she shook her head and looked away.

 _She hated being reminded of Lady Mary on her pedestal._

 **A/N: I know this one and the previous one have been a bit shorter. The next one is longer I promise**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry for the late update, I was recovering from Christmas and the Christmas Special (AHHHHH)**

 **Don't own them, again**

He knocked on her door, knowing he would find her there and entered to see her smiling at him. His heart melted at the small gesture, _of friendship? No not friendship_ but he couldn't put his finger on what it was.

 _She was sitting at her desk, turned into the corner pouring over some ledgers, balancing numbers and such when she heard his knock. She knew his knock, and turned with a smile already on her face, she couldn't hold it in._

He spoke softly not wanting to break the night haze that had set in over them and not wanting to disturb her.

" **I think I'll turn in"**

 _She tilted her head and questioned_

" _ **No big announcement then?"**_

 _He shook his head and continued_

" **No, nor likely to be. He's off on the nine o'clock train"**

He was appalled at the manners of the duke. Coming to stay in a house with two eligible daughters and the third almost out, then leaving without extending a proposal was the worst manners and Englishman could have. He was glad that he had been able to contain most of his feeling towards the man in his words but her next ones only served to make them stronger.

 _He can't be leaving tomorrow, when they had prepared specially for him staying tonight. Oooh, if she could get her hands on that ungrateful young man there would be some serious questions regarding his honour._

" _ **He never is! And when we've had a turkey killed for tomorrow's dinner"**_

She sounded so put out it made his heart swell, and her accent had become more pronounced in her annoyance only serving to make him fall harder.

 _She looked away determinedly studying the opposite wall of her sitting room. She was aware her accent was thicker but she didn't have the patience to rein it in, only a little more energy for this precious moment with Charles._ Not Charles, Mr Carson to you young lad _y. But he wasn't…here and now he was Charles, her Charles and they were just friends discussing the day-to-day matters of the household they happened to run together. She couldn't help but wonder what was making the duke leave with the lack of proposal, surely if Lady Mary couldn't catch a duke, she wasn't worthy enough for a butler?_

" _ **Well, I wonder what she did wrong?"**_ _she continued_

Surely by now she was aware of his special regard for Lady Mary and was teasing him? Her comment had still made him a bit blustery though

" **She did nothing wrong, not from the way his lordship was talking"**

He looked at the doorframe and exhaled loudly showing his distaste for her suggestion that Lady Mary was not capable of securing a duke. He wondered if he was worthy of someone as amazing as her…particularly her. He was certainly not equal to her in strength or kindness, and the thought that someone might come along and catch her fancy really was a daunting thought.

 _She saw his bluster and smiled a little, he was so precious when his and the earl's favourite daughter was questioned. She decided to smooth his ruffled feathers and assure him that Lady Mary was not in the wrong._

" _ **So his grace turned out to be graceless"**_

 _They shared a look that said they agreed with each other on the state of the man's behaviour._

" **Goodnight Mrs Hughes"** _he said, his voice a ribbon of velvet from his mouth to her ear._

" _ **Goodnight Mr Carson"**_ _she said quietly and looked down, sad that their time together could not have extended by even a few moments._

Why did she have to look so beautiful in the light of her room? He sighed, surely if she knew just how much she measured up to the ladies of upstairs but without all the jewels they were bedecked in, she would never spare him a moment or thought. There had not been many over the years who had turned his head, but this with her…this slow burn and love that only grew over the time they spent together, this was different, this was it. Everyday he found new ways to fall in love with her all over again. He closed the door, a small happy smile quirked his features as he wandered up the stairs to his room, deep in thoughts of them together.

 _The door shut behind him with a shallow click and she shook her head with a smile, returning to her ledgers. Oh that man…he could fire up her temper better than Thomas or O'Brien and yet could weaken her knees with one word over his shoulder. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, finally giving in to her imagination. If he had stayed a little longer, he could have come to her, taken her hands and raised her gently from her seat. He could have taken her in his arms and they could have just stood, her head on his chest, their hands clasped together, pressed between them as she leaned on him. There was no need for excessive displays of affection you might see between young people nowadays, this was enough for them, this was what they had, what she wanted. Companionship and long years of silently loving, this was their promise to one another, silent, standing and understood. She shook her head and the daydream melted away, only the colour in her cheeks leaving a trace of the earlier thoughts. She pressed a hand to her mouth and smiled. To be young, well not old, and in love. If only it was reciprocated._

 **A/N: This chapter wrote itself mostly and ran away a bit on the word count. I rather like it, tell me what you think.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 **A/N: This chapter marks the beginning of episode 2; I love this scene and the comedy it brings to life. Still don't own them.**

September 1912

He was standing to attention in the entryway, waiting for his lordship to come down the stairs and greet the guests. As soon as he saw him past, he led them into the hall where the servants were lined up. As they entered, the ladies came in from the other side and lined up opposite the staff.

 _She watched out of the corner of her eye as his lordship strolled past Mr Carson to greet the new Crawley's. She hadn't been able to glimpse them yet from her place at the head of the line but was surely interested as to who was to be the new heir, Lady Mary's replacement._

 _Mr Carson entered the hall and stood beside her, checked the line then turned to face the family. She inhaled when she felt his eyes on her for a second and watched him exude pride in "their family."_

He joined the servant's line, first casting a final look, particularly over her before he turned and looked toward the family.

Lady Grantham welcomed the Crawley's officially to the house and Lord Grantham then continued with introductions.

 _She was proud of Lady Grantham for being the first to welcome the guests to the house, the woman had a kind heart that mirrored her own, and they had certainly grown closer over the time since she had arrived. She had been wary at first of the American, but was not one to be as opinionated as her male counterpart was over such matters._

"This is Carson, we'd all be lost without him."

 _She agreed with him silently, marvelling in the truth of it. Who else knew exactly how the silver was polished or how to balance the books. She smiled inwardly, glad his part was recognised by their employer._

The earl then proceeded to introduce the rest of his family. Carson was slightly put out. He may be the butler and the most seen upstairs member of the staff but the woman standing next to him was the one that made sure everything ran smoothly. His heart was outraged that his hardworking colleague and friend had not been recognised for all she did, _and you'd all be lost without her and never know it_. He in particular would be lost without her, he couldn't imagine a day where he didn't get to walk with her down the hallway connecting her sitting room and his pantry, or see her smile as they briefly spotted each other around the house. He was surprised at himself but chalked it down to his stupid romantic heart. He vowed never to let it rule his head again; he could never let it get in the way of his job.

 _The pair of them looked nice enough, but looks could be deceiving, as she well knew._

He didn't quite know what to think of Mrs Crawley or Matthew. They seemed unaccustomed to the Grantham's style of living and was appalled when Mrs Crawley extended her hand to the Dowager Countess and offered a greeting

 _She watched in horror as Mrs Crawley attempted to befriend the Dowager._

"What should we call each other?"

The Dowager's shocked look and reply mirrored his own

"Well we could always start with Mrs Crawley and Lady Grantham"

 _She giggled inwardly at the sharp retort that was thrown back and almost fell about when she saw the dowager look to Carson for reassurance. Oh the old bat had her moments, she sure did._

He could always count on her sharp wit to keep everyone in their place. Cora hastily took Mrs Crawley by the arm and led her away. The Dowager looked up to him with the same shocked expression and he raised his eyebrows in agreement. The nerve of that woman!

 _Her eyes followed Matthew as he passed her then swivelled to see Mr Carson's jaw set. His eyes too followed the family, but continued to watch them until they reached the drawing room._

The family followed Cora and Mrs Crawley and he watched until they were out of sight. He felt her gaze and sensed her mirth at the situation. Oh he loved her sense of humour particularly when it came to her dry wit. He met her eyes, his face stern. She continued to smile at him until he quirked an eyebrow at her and walked away, going to check on the state of the dining room. He refused to let a lovely sparkly-eyed Scottish angel ruin his professional façade twice in five minutes, especially on the job.

 **A/N: This was just my thoughts; let me know what you think**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 **A/N: I always wondered about this scene, and my inner Chelsie clock was like "boom she's checking on him because she's secretly in love." This is a short chapter, so apologies for that. I also want to thank the reviewer, guest and named. I read them all and love to hear your thoughts. On with the story :)**

 _She strode down the hallway heading to the kitchen to oversee preparation before returning to her sitting room._

 _As she passed the butler's pantry she couldn't help but glance in the door to check on him._

 _Seeing that he was safely where he was supposed to be she turned back to the corridor and raised her chin higher, everything was in its rightful place._

 _Except her heart. It belonged in his pantry with him. And that was where her mind was so often transported as well._

 _Today it painted a picture of her standing over his shoulder with her hand resting there as he poured over wine ledgers. He was fully focused on his task, she daren't flatter herself by thinking he'd be distracted. She leaned over his shoulder and rested her chin on it. He turned his head and kissed her cheek before tenderly ghosting his fingertips over her opposite cheek. Suddenly he would pull her into his lap and kiss her sweetly, just like the tenderness she felt in his kind words._

 _Oh what a silly thought she sighed and wiped the slate clean, Mrs Patmore would take all of the energy she had set aside and probably more._

-x-x-x-

He heard her footsteps pass his door, heading for the kitchen to do the check of the food as it was being made.

He closed his eyes for a moment, imagining a world where her footsteps could be taking a little sleepy blue-eyed bairn to sleep in the next room then returning to him in bed and going to sleep wrapped in his arms. He could imagine the feel of her figure, her hips, her waist, her hands in his embrace.

Her earlier words rose to mind: _do you…ever wish you'd…gone another way?_ That tiny baby girl said yes, yes he dreamed of making her a mother.

William knocked at the door and he motioned for him to enter, grasping the letter from the young mans hand and opening it quickly.

 _Charles…bloody…Grigg. The man who had stolen his money and the girl who had his heart_.

This letter with three lines of text brought all the memories he'd worked so hard to bury, back to the surface, as fresh as the day they happened. He read the letter again to make sense of it. He wanted shelter, food and money.

In an instant all his happy dreams of him and Elsie together were replaced with the fear of Grigg ruining him. Not just his career, but how she thought of him. It mattered that she had a high opinion of him and anything would tell her, anything of his tryst on the stage would make her look at him differently.

No, his foolish pride would not, could not allow this. He picked up his coat and hurried to the door.

 **A/N: Eh, I felt like he needed another reason to help Grigg, so I added the Elsie reason. Next is the servery scene...**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 **A/N: Still don't own them. Servery Romance, commence!**

He had entered the servery expecting a minute alone away from the family, dearly needed after what Grigg was now demanding from him.

He had sunk to his level, something he never thought he would have to do, but he had stolen. He had stolen from the family and Anna had seen him.

Mrs Hughes came in from the other side carrying a stack of plates. When he saw her he couldn't help but lift his head a little higher. She was so beautiful and for a brief few moments all thoughts of Grigg were replaced with her.

 _She walked quietly into the servery intending to swap the plates for dessert without being seen, as was her job really, but looked up to see a preoccupied butler entering from the dining room._

 _He had been like this for a few days now and she didn't know why. She hated the uncertainty it cast on them, she had to be more careful and gentler to avoid fraying his nerves more._

" _ **I'm changing round the dessert services,"**_ _she whispered as she walked to the plate station, crossing in front of him to reach it._

 _He stopped walking and stood behind her as she spoke, making her speak over her shoulder to him. She longed to lean back into him and feel his arms hold her gently to his strong chest. She turned back to the station, closing her eyes against the thought, his scent making it very difficult to forget._

She was so close in the small space; all he wanted to do was reach down kiss her beautiful dark auburn hair and wrap his arms around her waist to pull her closer…rest his cheek on the top of her head.

These thoughts externally manifested as him gazing at the top of her head for longer than was proper, before he stepped away into the crockery store.

 _He stepped past her then, the reason for him being there becoming apparent:_

" **We're missing a sugar sifter, I know I put three out,"** he said, not facing her, but busying himself with looking for the missing item.

 _Having him there reminded her what Anna had told her earlier about Thomas, she decided now was the time to bring it up._

He heard her quiet voice speak next

" _ **I was talking to Anna earlier"**_ _she started, looking at the plates she was stacking._

He froze, sure she knew what he'd done, but fervently hoped she didn't. He had to know what she knew, whether all his hard work to keep his past hidden from everyone, particularly her had gone to waste. He spun around so quickly he momentarily was a little unsteady on his feet

" **Why? What's she been saying?"** He spoke sharply, louder than necessary.

 _She looked at him then, her eyes questioning the sudden change in tone and the alarm she had felt from him._

She looked at him worriedly but he had to know her level of knowledge.

" _ **Whatever's the matter?"**_ _she said gently but firmly, still watching his tense frame._

 _She out down the plate she was holding in case she needed to…needed to what? Reassure him? Gah!_

 **"What did Anna say?"** _he pressed again, and now she was worried._

 _He had been tense for a few days now and she still didn't have an answer as to why, merely that Anna must know something. She looked away for a moment to gather her thoughts then looked back to him as she spoke_

 _ **"** **Only that she thinks Thomas is bullying William"**_

He exhaled mentally releasing the tension he held. It was merely Thomas being Thomas; yes he could deal with that. That was easy, however men who know how to use your past against you were not so easy to repress.

" **Yes, she may have a point, I'll keep an eye out"**

 _Hearing him calm, she picked up another plate but kept her gaze fixed on him._

Safe in the knowledge that the information had been received and considered he went back to his original errand.

He stepped forward and reached for the sifter sitting on a shelf near her head. He so wanted to rest his hand at the small of her back as he did it, like a husband might a wife if he reached for a wine glass above her.

Once the item was in his hand he stepped past her, inclining his head away from the sifter

" **Here it is"** _he said, his voice deep and low, then stepped past her towards the dining room again, his sleeve gently grazing her back as he passed._

 _She felt his sleeve touch her and closed her eyes. She could count on one hand the number of times they had touched during the time they had worked together and she treasured every moment. She watched his retreating back after he passed her, around the corner into the dining room._

 _She was going to find out what was bothering him so much._

 **A/N: My heart can't take these two :) Next is silver inspections and repressed desires...**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I am in love with this scene. Phyllis's accent is so beautiful and I think this scene really highlights it.**

 _After the minor anxiety attack he'd had in the servery during dinner she decided to let him cool off a bit after the servant's meal. She finished balancing her ledgers and went to his pantry to find him. The door was open so she knocked softly on the frame before stepping in._

He heard her knock but couldn't bring his gaze from the candelabra he was inspecting. He knew he got obsessive when he was stressed but knew he wanted her there, in the room with him too.

" _ **I'll say goodnight Mr Carson,"**_ she said, her soft beautiful lilt caressing his name and her gentle tone serving to wake him a little from his anxious fog that he had been sitting in since Grigg wrote to him

 _He was studying a candelabra closely, the silver cupboard stood open behind him. He didn't look up when she spoke but acknowledged her by pointing to the object in his hand_

" **Look at that scratch,"** _he said as he took several steps in her direction,_

" **We'll have to get that sorted out while they're up in London"**

 _She took his invitation and stepped closer as well, quickly glancing up to his face before down at the candelabra to offer her inspection_

He felt her presence as she too stepped closer to inspect the item. She had misjudged the distance slightly and stood closer than she normally would. As she leaned in she brought her hand up to her chin. He swiftly chased away all thoughts of her touching his chest and leaning against him, no it would not do to be alone, late at night with the woman he loved without temptation creeping in.

" _ **You can hardly see it"**_ _she said dismissively, his attention to detail always grew when he was under stress and this discovery of a tiny scratch was a perfect example._

Her voice this close to him was so reassuring and such a comfort in the dark uncertainty Grigg brought, he looked at her finally. She was so close, close enough to touch, to hold. _No._

" **Well I'll know it's there,"** _he said pointedly, looking at her as if he just realised she was there. He stepped away hurriedly and turned to put it back in the cupboard._

Her next words, spoken so gently almost hesitantly, made her lilt stronger

" _ **Are you alright now, only you seemed a little upset earlier?"**_

He spoke on a diagonal firstly, not able to fully face her and not tell her the whole truth, he took a few steps towards her, glanced at her to see her eyes soft and sparkling, he paused, deciding he couldn't tell her.

" **Yes-erm, I'm sorry about that... I'm just um… a bit tired"**

Truth be told, the small lie of being tired wasn't entirely false. His constant plaguing thought of Grigg revealing him had made him loose sleep.

 _She knew he was lying to her, she could always tell, but she could also see that the matter that had put him in this state was not one of the usual suspects. When William had a rip in his livery, it was different, when Thomas was rude, it was different, no this anger and precaution was entirely dissimilar to anything she'd seen. She decided to let it rest, he could tell her if he wanted too, and if not then so be it._

 _He moved to the side table and retrieved the second candelabra, she watched him and decided to give him a way out, an excuse of sorts for his 'tiredness.'_

" _ **And no wonder, did the dinner go well?"**_

He continued in his path to the cupboard as she spoke glad she believed his exhaustion to have a proper cause, if not an incorrect one. He spoke facing the cupboard.

" **Oh well enough…but they wont make a match between them if that's what they're thinking"**

 _Ah, back on familiar territory with household talk_

" _ **Lady Mary doesn't like him?"**_ _she asked curiously_

 _Of course she didn't, she didn't like anyone who was suitable to her._

He turned back to face her now, holding a lamp to use on the stairs

" **And why should she like the man she's being passed over for? And why has she been?"** he said adamantly, gathering speed as he spoke.

 **"That's what I'd like to know"**

 _Oh lord, you've woke the beast, she thought when she heard his tone. He got very adamant when it came to what his precious Lady Mary deserved. She attempted to calm him with the simple fact of the matter._

She tilted he head, always the voice of reason

" _ **It's the law"**_

He knew she would never agree with him so he decided to end the conversation with finality

" **Well it's a wicked law"**

 _Well that's that, you're second best once again and that's how it will stay. Get over it lass. She sighed and looked away from him as he slammed the cupboard shut._

 **A/N: Let me know your thoughts, in my opinion that was a less romantic scene but still showed how well she knew him and how much she cared. Next is preparing for the ceremony...ah another fave :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I just want to say thank you to all the reviewers of this story, I love to hear what you think because what I write is just my opinion and others have great points to make as well.**

 **This scene is just so marriage-y (if you get what I mean) and I love it. I think it's a glimpse of what could have been if they had damned propriety and rules and admitted their feelings. To the happy couple…**

 _She stood in front of her looking glass in her sitting room, fastening her tiny flower broach to the collar of her blouse._

 _She was rather looking forward to the events of today, to see the old bat put in her place; ah the old lady had it coming._

 _She continued to muse to herself as she wrestled with the pin and was pleasantly surprised to hear Mr Carson come to her door. He knocked softly and she turned to see him over she shoulder._

 _She couldn't help a beautiful smile light up her face when her eyes caught him, and as she turned back to the mirror she closed her eyes for a moment._

 _Him standing there at the door watching her dress…well, finish dressing…she chided herself, it reminded her of what could be. If they were together, if they had their own cottage, if this was their bedroom and their looking glass she was using…if they were together. If he were her husband, coming to check on her before he left for work and taking her in his arms before he went because he couldn't resist one last kiss._

 _Oh lass, that's a lot of fantasy for four soft knocks on the door, get a hold of yourself! But she couldn't seem to. She was not one for primping but she knew he was watching and took extra care._

He knocked on her door, his head dramatically turned to the floor and as he finished knocking, looked up with a flourish.

 _What the blazes was that? Are you trying to relive your stage days? Dear lord man!_ As his eyes moved from the floor, he couldn't help but take her in her figure, normally so cossetted in dark material that helped her keep to the shadows, today was gone and replaced with a floral blouse, deep blue skirt and black hat. He allowed his gaze to appreciate her for a moment before he spoke.

" **If you're going to the ceremony I thought we might walk together,"** _he intoned, his voice lacking the usual life. She decided to ignore that, seeing as she still didn't know the root cause but certainly this was one of the effects of the problem he had._

He knew he sounded flat but even just the sight of her had boosted him the smallest bit. He couldn't be his usual, _not joyful,_ lively self even for her. His lordship knew of his shameful past, as did Lady Sybil, Anna and Mr Bates, the last thing he wanted was for her to find out. She didn't appear to notice, or if she did she ignored it

" _ **Certainly I'm going. I want to see the old bats face when they announce it. I must try not to look to cheerful, or shouldn't I talk like that in your presence?"**_

He loved her. Only she could say something like that and know him so well, know exactly how to play him without enraging him, and be so beautiful.

He knew she was giving him a way out of his misery but he couldn't take it, too many thoughts of her respect for him diminishing kept him from smiling and playing along.

He almost didn't notice the domesticity of this arrangement. A wife, his wife, _his beautiful wife_ , standing at her mirror in their bedroom, getting ready to go out, and him, the husband, _her husband,_ watching from the doorway wanting to pull her into his arms to stop her fussing with her broach, kiss her gently…

He remembered where he was and reality crashed back in.

 _She had expected him to play along, make some grandiose fuss over her words. She looked back at him over her shoulder as she finished speaking to see his reaction, but none came._

" **Do you find me very ridiculous Mrs Hughes, putting on airs and graces I have no right too?"**

He asked, even without her full knowledge of his past, or even if she did know somehow, he had to know that his oldest friend, his love, didn't think him a melodramatic old codger.

 _She heard the plea in his voice and turned to face him fully this time, folding her hands together in front of her. She wanted to go to him, to take his face in her hands and kiss away his sadness, chase away his fear. She kept her tone light as she answered_

" _ **What's brought this on?"**_ she asked, her tone inquisitive, as she turned to face him

Now he could see her delicate face properly and sighed.

" **Nothing"** he muttered, looking at the floor.

No he had to know what she thought

" **Except at times I wonder if I'm just a sad old fool"**

There, now it's said. She could break him or build him up with whatever words she chose to speak next.

 _He looked so forlorn, so broken and miserable. She held herself firm, refusing to go to him. She stepped toward him and spoke gently but firmly_

" _ **Mr Carson, you are a man of integrity and honour, who raises the tone of this household by being part of it"**_

 _That was the best she could do, the most formal way of saying what she truly believed. She looked down and exhaled._

 _He looked like he might cry and she couldn't let him think she'd seen him, with all his talk of sentiment. But he was different somehow, like the Titanic had been the last straw to crack his impregnable professional façade._

 _She didn't know how that might bode for her but she was glad he was a little more human._

He didn't know what to say, how to respond. How do you tell someone that you just fell more in love with them for a few simple formal words without telling them you love them?

There was no way.

He stayed silent, admiring her, he felt tears form in the corners of his eye but didn't even think to brush them away, and she deserved to know how much her words meant to him in even the simplest way. She finished with finality.

" _ **So no more of that please"**_ _she finished and turned back to her room, unwilling to look at him anymore without breaking, herself._

 **A/N: Thoughts? I thought her ability to give him a way out of his humph has always been there and whether he chooses to take it or not is what changes over their time together.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: This one is rather short but I think it's still important so I decided to finish off episode 2 this week for you guys. Sadly I don't own these beautiful specimens.**

 _They walked to the hospital side by side, him matching her significantly smaller strides to keep pace._

 _She made sure to hold her purse in the hand closest to him, she couldn't allow herself to even entertain the thought of reaching for his hand involuntarily._

 _They walked closely, as if there was the usual hallway space confining them, their hands brushed occasionally but neither made a mention of it, both too happy in their small moment together._

 _Their haze broke when they neared the hospital. He spoke softly to her, leaning slightly to reach her._

" **You go in Mrs Hughes…"**

 _He gestured to the approaching stone arch that marked the entry to the hospital and softly touched her gloved wrist to reassure her. She looked up at him questioningly and he continued_

" **I want to have a word with Mr Bates"**

 _She nodded and entered the hospital, thinking about that touch._

 _He never touched her, and yet he had lightly grazed his fingers over her wrist. She closed her eyes at the memory, smiling. Her eyes reopened at the sound of Mrs Patmore's voice calling to her._

 _-CE-_

He had touched her wrist, gently, reverently.

It had been a slip; he had been focussing on Mr Bates and what to say to him.

He had so wanted to place his hand at the small of her back and lead her that way but passed it off as swinging his arms as he walked. He waited until she was far enough away before speaking to Mr Bates, he had to ensure his past was safe.

-CE-

 _He found her in their allocated aisle and sat._

 _She continued to chat to Mrs Patmore on her other side but couldn't help letting her mind slip to feeling his strong and steady presence._

 _He seemed lighter after his chat to Mr Bates, as though a weight was lifted._

 _The Dowager entered with Mrs Crawley close behind and the congregation stood. This was going to be fun, she thought._

 **A/N: This might just have been my observation of this scene, I'm not sure. I watched it over and over and convinced myself that they touched.**

 **Next week is episode 3…**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 **A/N:I want to again thank my reviewers for their comments, I like to open conversation with writing so thank you for making my day with your words.**

 **This is the only chapter for episode 3 because this episode was mainly about Mr Bates and his leg and the Mary/Pamuk scandal**

March 1913

 _They followed O'Brien into the Servant's Hall as she requested, curious as to what was so important that it required both of them to be present. She followed him, barely able to see past his bulking frame but trusted where he was leading. They entered to see a gathering of staff on the opposite side of the table._

" **Get back please"** _he boomed, acquiring the necessary attention_

 _He moved to stand with them while she stood at the head of the table, inspecting the typewriter. Miss O'Brien spoke now, stirring up trouble as always_

"They were trying to hide it so I knew it was wrong"

 _She knew O'Brien well, she had watched her and Thomas plot over the years and she now suspected that this was one of them, but she was curious as to why they chose to plant a typewriter of all things._

" **Where's Gwen now?"** _he asked sharply_

"Doing the dining room with Anna, they'll be finished soon" _Thomas replied helpfully, keen to get his lot in with the drama_

" **Then I'll wait,"** he said shortly, annoyed that he had been interrupted in his perusal of the ledgers

 _He inspected the typewriter as if it were a bomb, or at least a foreign object he had to dissect. She fought the urge to laugh at his facial expression. She was a little put off by the fact that he expected he would deal with Gwen when she arrived and decided to put her foot down…gently._

" _ **With all due respect Mr Carson, Gwen is under my jurisdiction…"**_ _she began_

 _She tilted her head towards him as she spoke, her eyes still merry from her earlier mirth, but her exterior was firm_

" **Indeed she is Mrs Hughes, and I have no intention of usurping your authority. I merely want to get to the bottom of this"** he replied smoothly, picking up on her sparkling eyes.

From any staff member watching, they might have suspected that the two of them of them were arguing but in fact they weren't.

He had noted the sparkle in her eye when she addressed him and she hadn't used a harsh tone either. He wondered what had made her eyes sparkle, they were so beautiful when they did that, he wished he knew what to say or do to make them do it more often.

He also noticed that her mouth quirked as she spoke, suggesting a repressed smile, now he was really intrigued as to what had made her so happy.

Gwen came down the stairs with Anna then, breaking his analysis.

"What's that doin' here?" Gwen said defensively

Mrs Hughes, seeing her now, turned and moved around the table as she spoke

" _ **Ah Gwen, come in"**_ her tone begins harshly but softened as she invited the scared girl closer.

"Why's that down here? Who's been in my room, they had no right!" she continued erratically

His head just about exploded from her impertinence but he remained silent, allowing his other half to deal with her maid. He wondered what she would do next.

" _ **See here…"**_ _she began, furious at the rudeness of the girl, she understood that she was scared and confused but did not give her an excuse to speak in such a manner. She knew her voice went up an octave with her fury and she quelled it as she continued_

" _ **In the first place, none of the rooms in this house belong to you, and in the second, I am in charge of your welfare and that gives me every right"**_

 _She was glad her words got through, as the girl lowered her eyes looking duly chastened._

"This is you isn't it," _Anna burst suddenly, towards to Miss O'Brien_

 _She didn't know what to do next; did she ask Gwen why she had the thing or tell off Anna for her words? She liked the girl; she was fiercely loyal to those she cared for, an admirable trait. She was saved from her dilemma by Mr Carson, he made the choice for her and set the course of the conversation._

" **All we want to know is what Gwen wants with a typewriter and why she felt the need to keep it secret,"** _he said sternly_

"She wants to keep it private not secret, there's a difference" _Anna said calmly in defence_

 _Gwen began her story:_ "I've done nothing to be ashamed of, I've bought a typewriter and I've taken a postal course in shorthand. I'm not aware that either of these actions is illegal"

 _Oooh, that girl may be nervous but this was too far_

" _ **Will you tell us why, preferably without anymore cheek?"**_ _she said expectantly_

 _The girl paused, unsure whether to tell them or not, finally she spoke_

"Because I want to leave service, I want to be a secretary"

 _She couldn't help herself, she turned to Mr Carson, needing his solid strength now to guide her. She hadn't expected this of a quiet Tuesday, not to have one of their children want to leave the nest so soon, and for another profession. She felt like a mother loosing a child, all the training and guidance she had given the girl had lead to her wanting to leave?_

He was furious, this girl who they had trained, taken in, given a home and a family wanted to leave? How dare she? He was thunderous and when he saw her turn to him, he turned his head slightly to meet her eyes; he took in her shock and gave her support to continue. Her eyes were wide and confused, his heart melted.

 _She turned back to the two maids, her voice low_

" _ **You want to leave service?"**_

 _She intended to find the reason by calming the girl with her words and extracting it gently but was interrupted by Miss O'Brien_

"What wrong with being in service?" _she asked indignantly_

 _Her comment fired up Gwen again_

"Nothing's wrong with it and there's nothing wrong with mending roads neither, but it's not what I want to do" _her voice became pleading by the end, and Mrs Hughes sympathised with her, the girl only wanted to follow her dreams._

" **I should remind you that there are plenty of young girls who would be glad of a position in this house,"** _he said, speaking the other side of her thoughts, perhaps more harshly than she would have done but nevertheless getting the message across._

"And when I hand in my notice, I shall be happy to think that one of them will be taking my place" _Gwen replied, bordering on impertinence but getting through, Miss O'Brien had to ruin the mellow ground they had reached_

"What makes you think we'll wait til then?" _she joshed._

 _Mrs Hughes couldn't think to do anything, to stricken by the news of one of her babies leaving._

 _Anna again came to Gwen's defence:_ "Are you hiring and sacking now Miss O'Brien? I thought that lay with Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes," _the reply broke into her thoughts, she was proud of the girl for standing up to the bully_.

" **Enough of this, I'm going to ring the dressing gong and we'll have no more talk of this tonight"** _he said authoritatively, moving to stand at the head of the table, closer to her._

"Can I have my machine back now?" _Gwen asked brokenly_

" **Very well"** _he replied as the rest of the staff filed out behind him_

" **But I wish I was sure you know what you're doing,"** _he continued as she picked it up and left_

 _Mrs Hughes eyes followed Gwen as she struggled to hold it then moved to him as he strode past her, she turned and followed him out. What a day._

 **A/N: Thoughts?**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

 **A/N: I want to send out a special thanks to my guest reviewers and suzie, who I can't thank personally. Thank you for your comments and ideas on almost every chapter, they are a delight to read.**

 **This is the first chapter about episode 4; I really like this episode because it is servant centred and particularly around Mrs Hughes and her past. Sorry it's a short one this week.**

May 1913

 _She was nervous, the letter from Joe had asked her to meet him, that had been a month ago and now the day was here. She went in search of Anna and located her in the kitchen_

" _ **Anna there you are. You know I'm out tonight because I don't want to come home to any surprises"**_ _she said gently, then took in the state of her. She looked sick._

 _Mrs Patmore broke her study by scoffing and saying: "He Ha, that'll be the day"_

 _She agreed with her and smiled slightly before sending Anna to bed and leaving. She didn't know why she was so wound up, this was Joe she was meeting not the King of England._

 _She refused to think of why she'd really agreed to meet him. Acknowledging that she wanted to see if another man appreciated her, in a different way than_ _ **he**_ _could,_ more _than he could, seemed so silly and shallow._

 _No, her party line for herself was that she just wanted to see him again. She was curious and had wondered how different her life would have been with him._

 _She let her mind wander as she reached her sitting room…they would have been wed then moved back to her home town of Argyll, her sole job would have been to bear and raise the children and cook the meals. Would she have been happy? Could she be happy with him now, if she accepted this time?_

 _She knew her heart's answer, but her head was torn. She wasn't sure if she wanted to retire so soon. Even if she wanted too she really couldn't, she had her sister to think of._

 _This was going to be tough. She couldn't let her feelings for the stoic butler down the hall get in the way…but she couldn't bear the thought of not seeing him everyday, and she had to take those feelings into account because they had ruled her for years, about a year after she got to Downton._

 _This was the tug of war between the man she loved and the man who wanted her._

 _But wanted her for what? She couldn't help but ask. She was happy where she was and with who she was. If only she could take that extra step into the polite space that existed between her and the butler she would truly know, finally._

 _Oh lord help her._

 **A/N: just a short chapter on what I thought she might be thinking on the Joe Burns subject plus a little excerpt from the actual show. When I have a big decision to make my thoughts are usually as jumbled as hers are here, let me know if it doesn't read well.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 **A/N: Thank you all for your beautiful kind words, I'm glad the last chapter read well :)**

 **I decided to post 2 chapters this week because both are very small so together they constitute 1 whole chapter, enjoy!**

 _He was cataloguing wine when she entered his pantry, all dressed up and ready for a night at the fair. She was very nervous now the moment was actually here. Coming to him had been a tough choice, she didn't want him to know why exactly she was going out and so came to his door, fidgeting with her gloves._

" _ **I'm just off Mr Carson,"**_ _she said_

He didn't look up from his ledger and said: **"According to the wine book we should still have six dozen of this, but I'm begged if I can find more than four"**

He had forgotten it was her night off and therefore had paid no special attention to her when she came to his door, but her next words made him glance up.

" _ **Look again before you jump to any nasty conclusions"**_ she said with a smile curbing her voice as she put on her gloves.

His quick glance up had been abandoned rather quickly when he saw her then, he was taken by her beauty, she looked so put together and he then regretted his dismissal of her going out.

He cast an appreciative eye over her appearance, she had never looked so beautiful to him and he knew it wasn't for him.

She had received a letter about a month back and had retreated to her sitting room with a smile on her face, he had put it out of his mind since then but he had noticed she had been getting more anxious up until today.

He wasn't sure what this meant, whether she had a suitor or whether it was just good news. Now he knew.

" **Long time since you last took a night off,"** he said, letting his appreciation show slightly in his tone before returning his gaze to his ledger

" _ **You don't think I aught to stay do you?"**_ she asked. He wanted to tell her to stay and pull her into his arms.

" **Certainly not, be off with you"** he waved a hand but didn't look up

" _ **And Anna's in bed with a cold so I'm afraid it's all down to you"**_ _she added feeling guilty for leaving him._

He held up his hands to her news and told her to go. She smiled and left. Oh lord what would they do without her?

 **A/N: Indeed what would they do without her? He He**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

 **A/N:** **This is just a small follow up scene. I think it really shows just how much the house and Carson need Mrs Hughes**

He was storming around the downstairs corridors frantically finding last minute cutlery and candlesticks for the table. He entered the kitchen and muttered loudly to the company he found there.

" **I never put the wine on ice. Mrs Hughes goes out for one night and we all fall to pieces"** he raged as he passed though with an ice bucket.

He had refused to allow his thoughts to stray to where or whom she might be with now, not allowing himself to feel anything other than professional butler thoughts.

His greatest fear: Elsie being swept away from him was coming true, and he was frightened she would leave him. He knew he couldn't be strong without her by his side to keep him in check and tease him gently.

He couldn't walk the halls without seeing her beautiful delicate features curve into a smile when she saw him.

He wished he had told her, before this codger came along and took her out. He was angry with himself and said yes to Thomas going down to the fair later on, without too much conscious thought.

It was all consumed by images of her with someone else. He couldn't imagine it and yet that was all his nightmares consisted of.

He hoped he was a horrible man who sent her running back here…home…to him. He cursed himself inwardly and bolted up the stairs to fix the table. He pushed all thoughts of her out of his mind, he had to be professional.

 **A/N: I like it, do you?**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you made my weekend super wonderful with your comments.**

 **This again isn't really a Chelsie scene, per se but it shows his protectiveness of her and I like it**

 _She returned from the fair, opened the back door and quietly slipped in. She heard voices from the servant's hall and walked quietly down the corridor to listen. She felt a strange maternal surge as she watched them from the shadows, like a mother watching her children._

 _She stood outside his door without even realising as she watched. Mr Bates spotted her first and asked how her night was._

 _They said their goodnights and she turned to go to her sitting room, she walked past Thomas and Daisy as they arrived, exchanging pleasantries. She entered her room and shut the door gently. She had a lot to think about._

He was sitting at his desk resting after a turbulent dinner, he heard her quiet steps down the passageway and heard them stop outside his door, but she didn't enter.

He rose quietly from his seat and moved towards the door. She just stood observing her staff, like a mother watching how her children interacted without her.

She said goodnight to Mr Bates and turned to go back to her sitting room just as he reached his door. He watched her go, sad that she hadn't come to say goodnight to him. Was this the beginning of the end? Would she really leave him? He stayed silent, listening to Thomas speak.

"I was right when I said she was looking sparkly eyed," he drawled to Daisy.

Mr Carson was enraged by the insensitivity of his words. How dare Thomas suggest that Mrs Hughes was…. _was what?_ He didn't know but that boy had to be put in his place.

He stepped out of his pantry then, raising his eyebrows and intoning: **"I beg your pardon Thomas."** The boy stiffened and satisfied that he had terrified him, Mr Carson returned to his pantry in another stride.

He assumed that would have quelled any further conversation but Thomas continued. "He can disapprove all he likes. Mrs Hughes has a fancy man."

A fancy man? Meaning a gentleman caller? She was out with a man, oh lord help him, she was leaving, his worst fear realised. He couldn't make himself move from where he stood listening, hoping for any other scrap of information that might say the man wasn't worthy of her. He would take anything at this point, past sending them to bed, he was too impatiently curious.

Daisy laughed, "Him a fancy man?"

He was soothed a little by those words, though the implication that she couldn't catch someone good made him angry. Mrs Hughes, in his biased opinion, was beautiful. She was lovely, her smile lit up a room and her delicate features were just so her. She was stunning, and not in an obvious, look at my red lips and massive eyes, no she was beautiful because she didn't know it…or maybe didn't believe it. Suggesting that this exquisite woman could not have any man she wanted was ludicrous.

Bates spoke now: "Don't be so nasty Daisy, it doesn't suit you"

Thomas just kept on poking: "I reckon there's a job vacancy coming up, Miss O'Brien do you fancy a promotion?"

Carson shuddered at that thought. Having to work alongside the spiteful ladies maid would not be his ideal. But if she was leaving, Mrs Hughes wouldn't choose O'Brien she would probably choose Anna. The thought pacified him for a moment, until O'Brien spoke.

"Very droll. If she's got a boyfriend, I'm a giraffe"

How dare she? He wanted to go out there and strangle the impertinence out of her, out of them all. But what would they think? Surely Thomas and O'Brien would jump to conclusions, and probably correct conclusions. No, he had to remain where he was and listen to them bag on his lovely Elsie.

 **A/N: I always thought there was more to this scene than appeared in the cut. Why was Carson at his door waiting when Thomas speaks? Hmmmm…then where does he go afterwards?**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

 **A/N:**

 **My thanks to everyone who reviewed this week and left amazing comments with your thoughts, it's always good to your hear perspectives :)**

 **This is a long one and I love this scene and there is barely any reading into it required to see the depth of feeling between the two of them.**

 _William with his sweet words had helped her decide, but over the next few days she continued to ponder._

 _Would they be able to cope without her, could she cope without them…without him?_

 _She stood in the middle of her sitting room now, too lost in thought to realise what time it was and the bustle happening just outside her room._

 _She bit her lip and wrung her hands, remembering what she had said to Joe earlier that day. His voice woke her from her thoughts._

" **I put out the rundle candlestick for dinner tonight,"** he said, one hand on the doorknob, gaging her mood by her silence and solitude. He had needed an excuse to see her; she had been thoughtful and preoccupied since she came back from the fair and he had been worried.

 _She nodded to show she heard but didn't turn to him. He seemed to notice her mood and offered to retreat._

He could tell he had interrupted a deep thought by the way she stood, so powerful and yet so uncertain.

" **Oh I'm sorry, I'll come back later,"** _he said. She knew this was the best time to tell him, to seize the moment._

 _He had come to her and she wanted him to know, to know her better._

" _ **No stay please,"**_ _she said turning now to invite him in,_ _ **"I've got something I'd like to talk to you about, if you've a minute?"**_ he was a little fearful of what she was going to say. Would she tell him she was leaving? Tell him all about her fancy man?

 _She sat down at her side table and smoothed her chatelaine absently, deciding how to begin. She laid a hand on the table and looked at him nervously, biting her lip, and looked away again._

 _This was harder than she thought._

He didn't know if he could bear it but took her invitation, closed the door and sat opposite her at the table. She looked anxious as well.

 _How do you tell the man you love that you almost accepted another man's proposal? This was impossible; almost…she decided to start at the beginning._

" _ **Before I first came here as head housemaid,"**_ _she began, before I met you._

" _ **I was walking out with a farmer. When I told him I'd taken a job at Downton, he asked me to marry him."**_

At this revelation he stiffened, knowing that he almost lost her before he had her.

 _She continued now, knowing the story and settling into it with familiarity._

" _ **I was a farmer's daughter from Argyll, so I knew the life. He was very nice, but then I came her and I did well and I didn't want to give it up so I told him no and he married someone else."**_

" _ **She died three years ago and last month he wrote asking to see me again, and I agreed, because all this time I've wondered…"**_ _wondered that if I hadn't met you and fallen in love, would I be happier? Would it be better to never have felt this way, never feel second best and not good enough for your impossible standards? She paused now, unsure of what to say next._

" **Go on"** he said stiffly, dearly hoping that that was the end of it, that she would stop this torture and tell him if she accepted and was leaving him.

" _ **I met him the other night. We had dinner at the Grantham Arms and afterwards he took me to the fair."**_ _She couldn't help her voice from being affected, if the man sitting before her had taken her on a date like this she might have collapsed with joy, but here she was telling him about her adventures with another man. She picked up the doll he had won for her and turned it over in her hand._

" **And he was horrible and fat and red faced and you never couldn't think what you ever saw in him"** he suggested boldly, dearly hoping that he was correct. He earned a small delicate smile for his trouble and that almost made it all better. Then she continued again, oblivious to the pain she was causing him to hear this and hide it.

" _ **He was still a nice man. He is still a nice man. Well he was a little red faced and his suit was a little tight but none of that matters, in the real ways, he hadn't changed"**_ _she trailed off wistfully, smiling at how much she had missed his company, but it had never been special to her, she had never craved it like she did with this man._

" **And he proposed again…and you accepted?"** he said, barely able to look at her for fear of hearing the answer he dreaded. His head was bowed but his eyes found her.

" _ **In many ways I wanted to accept…"**_ _she began,_ _ **"But I'm not that farm girl anymore,"**_ _she said, almost tearing up at the thought of the happy, unburdened girl she had been then, not in love with the man she was talking to now._

" _ **I was flattered of course but…"**_ _she continued, regaining her composure slightly, but her next words broke her again,_ _ **"…I've changed Mr Carson."**_ _she said, her voice brittle, looking to him for assurance that this was ok. One of the reasons she hadn't accepted Joe was because she had changed, met someone who held her heart now and he hadn't, but he had remained the same. She wanted her heart to want him, but it was safely locked away in a draw of Mr Carson's desk. Those small words she had spoken: 'I've changed Mr Carson', had been her way of telling him that he had changed her. He had made her who she was and she knew who she wanted to be. She didn't want to be Mrs Burns; she wanted to be Mrs Carson. She watched him to see if he had understood the implication of her words._

He titled his head lovingly, seeing his angelic girl look so forlorn and unsure, **"Life's altered you as it's altered me…and what would be the point of living if we didn't let life change us?"**

He so wanted to read into her words, he wanted to think that she was saying was his hearts desire, but all he could do was assure her that you had to change to stay alive. She had altered him by coming to Downton, no mistake; he had seen her and fallen in love with her graceful words and delightful smile. If she had been confessing and he deeply wished, he had used the same words and confessed too.

" **You wont be leaving then?"** he finished, his voice stronger now but still unsure of her final decision, to make sure he understood fully.

 _She sighed and looked away thoughtfully, knowing that he hadn't understood her._

There is a knock at the door; Anna poked her head in. "You'd better come, Mrs Patmore's on the rampage. She wants the key to the store cupboard, you know how angry she gets she hasn't got one of her own"

 _She exhaled sharply and shook her head as she stood._ _ **"Nor will she have, not while I'm housekeeper here,"**_ _she moved to the door and as he stood, she looked up at him._ _ **"Leaving? When would I ever find the time?"**_ _she smiled and followed Anna to the kitchen, just brushing his arm as she went by in the small space._

 **A/N: I showed my younger sister this scene (she hasn't seen any of the show) and told her that Mrs Hughes was the head of women staff and Mr Carson was the head of male staff. I asked her to tell me after she had watched it what she thought the relationship was between them. With no prompting she said that they liked each other, particularly that Carson liked Mrs Hughes. Just thought I should add that after suzie shared her relative story.**

 **Did I mention that I love this scene? Like a lot? Hope you like my take on it :)**

 **~ Have a great day wherever in the world this reaches you ~**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

 **A/N: We have reached episode 5!**

 **There are only 2 chapters for this episode, because the episode was more centred on the property war between Anna/Bates vs. O'Brien/Thomas and Mrs Patmore's sight**

 **As always thank you to all the readers who shared their thoughts.**

 **In particular to Andyka1895 for their thought on how in love they were. I agree with you on the fact that they weren't gaga in love, I think that is very modern a term and doesn't quite fit them. I think they had enough time to fall in love in a slow and appreciative manner. One of the things I wanted to show in this story was the aspects of their love, because as I watched it grow, I saw the multifaceted nature of it and that's why I think they work so well. The humour, the respect, the parental care, the trust and loyalty. That's what makes them work so well and makes them so unique.**

August 1913

He had been notified that one of his Lordship's snuffboxes had been taken and decided now it was time to take it to the staff. He had asked her to come with him when he addressed them for support, though he didn't tell her that. They entered the servant's hall now; it was time to find the culprit.

 _Following his large stride they entered the servant's hall. She knew she was more of an accessory but still revelled in the united front he wanted to present._

" **Might I have a word?"** he asked sternly, and the hall was filled with the sound of scraping chairs as he stood at the head of the table. She slid into her place beside him and he glanced imperceptibly to make sure she was there, by his side where she belonged.

 _Because of the width of the table, for them both to fit she stood very close to him, almost close enough to touch. She refused to let it distract her from the task at hand and looked down to collect herself, before raising her eyes to the gathered servants._

" **I wanted to say something before I ring the gong, I'm afraid its not very pleasant. His lordship is missing a very valuable snuffbox, it appears to have been taken from the case in his room."**

 _Men and their toys, she thought. But it was a very serious matter to have stolen from the family and she watched everyone closely as he spoke, watching for reactions, her jaw was set in the anger she felt._

 _She couldn't help but glance up at him occasionally, making sure he didn't explode._

" **If one of you knows anything about this, will he or she please come to me. Your words will be heard in the strictest confidence. Thank you."**

 _He finished and she glanced at him then turned and strode out, he followed her._

He was furious that someone had dared to take something from their employer and followed her out of the room. He had the pleasant distraction of her swaying hips as they went.

 **A/N: Eh, just a little scene but still good.**

 **I loved that she was even in this scene. I think it just goes to show how much he relies on her as his other half and, his strength while great on his own, he is better when she is beside him.**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

 **A/N: Hello lovelies! I hope everyone had a good week (or a good end to the week wherever you are) and I hope you like this chapter. Their little smiles and glances keep me going, enjoy.**

 _The debacle with the salt on the dessert had reached downstairs quickly and now they found themselves in the servant's hall with a mortified Mrs Patmore._

 _She may not have been best friends with the poor woman but she did sympathise with her situation and stood behind her chair lending her support._

 _Lovely Anna was standing on the other side, rubbing her back and offering soothing words._

He had known Mrs Patmore for a long time, longer than Elsie, longer than anyone they worked with now, and he could see there was something wrong. That much was obvious but he could see there was something else to it, more than just the salt in the pudding.

"Hey, come on, it's not that bad, nobody's died" _Anna said quietly_

 _In her grief Mrs Patmore lashed out at Daisy_

"I don't understand it, it must have been that Daisy, she's muddled everything up before"

 _At this statement, she opened her mouth despairingly and looked to Mr Carson, who was standing a few feet away next to Daisy. She could not allow Mrs Patmore to abuse the poor girl, not even in her current state._

He was sympathetic to her but he could not allow her to pass the blame to the young girl.

"But I never…" _Daisy said hurriedly, defending herself_

 _Mr Carson came to the rescue and comforted her before she said anything else._

" **Don't worry Daisy, you're not in the line of fire here,"** he said gently and patted her arm, assuring her that she was not to blame and Mrs Patmore's anger came from her guilt.

 _Her heart swelled to see his gentle side prevail at this time; he really was a beautiful man with a kind heart_

"I know that pudding, I chose it cause I know it" _Mrs Patmore continued, trying to justify for herself how it had happened. This time she stepped in, her eyes flicked to Mr Carson first before she spoke._

He caught her eyes but hastily redirected his to Mrs Patmore, this was no time to be distracted.

" _ **Which is why you wouldn't let her ladyship have the pudding she wanted, because you didn't know it,"**_ _she said comfortingly, hoping to stop the tirade against poor Daisy._

 _Mrs Patmore seemed glad of the explanation,_ "Exactly," _she uttered, her voice trailing off._

 _Hearing the answer, her eyes once again found the butler. He was already looking at her. She swore his mouth was slightly upturned, the tiniest smile she had ever seen, but it was there and it was for her._

 _He looked away, back to Mrs Patmore, lifting his chin higher. Was it possible that he was proud of her? She did not need his validation to get on with her day, but it was always a nice surprise when he offered some form of kindness to her or to anyone._

He couldn't help the minute smile from tugging at his lips. She hadn't said anything before then, and he had been worried she was unsympathetic. He was proud of her and her words, offering a plausible and reasonable explanation and giving Mrs Patmore the opportunity to take it.

 _Now Mrs Patmore, sighed seeming to regain herself, before attempting to justify her self one more time_ : "I don't see how it happened," _she said again, hopelessly lost and confused._

 _She couldn't stop her eyes from drifting to Mr Carson again, seeing how he would handle this. He nodded to Mr Bates and the valet spoke._

"Come on everyone, let's give Mrs Patmore some room to breathe," _he said._

 _She looked at him while he spoke but looked back to Mr Carson to check that was his wish. He nodded tinily at her and she turned to go with the others._

His heart jumped to see her checking with him, checking that this was what he wanted, and that he could handle this alone.

He nodded almost imperceptibly at her, catching her eye before watching her nod and turn to leave. He resisted the temptation to watch her go and set about fixing the fire.

He had to get to the bottom of this.

 _She rounded the corner and began to head down the corridor to her sitting room, but stopped and listened at the archway instead, her curiosity pulling her._

 _She heard his kind words and her heart swelled to hear him share his kind heart with the devastated Mrs Patmore. She was warmed by his soft tone and offer of help, this was the man she knew and loved, this was her man._

 **A/N: I enjoyed writing this one because of all the details. I watched it over and over in slow motion and noticed the support they leant each other during the process. They were protective parents to Daisy and friends to Mrs Patmore. Thoughts?**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

 **A/N: Episode 6 brings with it many updates as this is centred on Mary's scandal reaching London and Carson hearing about it.**

 **Thank you to all my reviewers from last week, I loved the comments on the 'eye action' as it was phrased**

 **Happy Easter everybody! I hope oyu enjoy the weekend :D**

May 1914

He stood in his pantry, reading a note from a fellow butler in London. The news was not good.

He was grateful to be pulled from it by her soft knock on the door. He couldn't help his eyes from taking her in properly, sweeping quickly from the floor to her beautiful face.

He raised his head as she stepped into his room and watched as she smoothly dodged the table in her way, marvelling at how it showed off her hips. He cleared his throat mentally.

" _ **Mrs Patmore is very cruel to that poor girl,"**_ _she said quietly, shaking her head as she spoke. She had come into his pantry in search of answers and she knew he had them. However when she looked at him properly she saw that he had less energy, as though the air had been sucked out of him._

" **Mrs Patmore is frightened,"** he said firmly, not taking his eyes off her, but being very clear that she was not to blame.

" _ **Is she right to be?"**_ she asked gently

" **Well, Dr Clarkson has confirmed she has cataracts,"** he said by way of explanation. She inhaled and looked away for a moment before speaking.

" _ **What can be done about it?"**_

He looked away as well for a moment. **"Well there are treatments, but even the best are uncertain, and she doesn't want to risk loosing what sight she still has."**

He looked to the kitchen and she followed before speaking.

" _ **I don't blame her. But it can't go on forever,"**_ _she said gently, trailing off. She knew her heart would go on loving him, no matter what she told it. It was impervious to her command anymore. She knew this man before her so well, knew he was distracted and so wanted to reach out for him, touch him, hold his hand._

He looked back at her **, "No,"** he was disappointed when her eyes didn't return to him but remained looking to the kitchen. He folded the letter as she looked at him.

" _ **Oh dear, have you had bad news?"**_ _she asked, finally acknowledging the letter he held_

She glanced to the letter as he looked at her questioningly.

" _ **I shouldn't have bothered you,"**_ she continued.

" **No, you weren't to know,"** he said absently as he put the letter back in the envelope.

She could never bother him; she was exactly what he needed. If it weren't for his inner sense of propriety he would have asked to take her hand for support but he couldn't so he had to dismiss her.

She wouldn't understand anyway, it concerned Lady Mary, a woman she did not think highly of.

 _She took that as her cue to leave and turned to walk out._

 _She paused at the door looking back at him worriedly as he again perused the letter. There were no secrets in this house that she didn't know about, she would find out sooner or later._

 **A/N: This scene isn't one of my favourite chapters I've written but I'd love to hear your thoughts**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

 **A/N: Thank you to Teresagreen and suzie for your thoughts on last weeks chapter :)**

 **Another short little scene, I think it shows their mutual care for each other and in love, there isn't always lust because that's just attraction, this and other small sweet scenes shows how the other facets of love, such as respect, trust, protectiveness and loyalty are equally as important. Sorry for the rant, enjoy.**

He still couldn't let go of the letter, he had carried it with him the whole day but nothing seemed to release him from this state of in between. He felt like he was floating somewhere between disbelief that this could ever have happened and disgust that it became so important that his friend had written to him about.

 _What had happened to the dear man? He was never late for anything, always prompt and on time and made sure everyone else was as well. This was very unusual and she was quite concerned. Frantically she knocked on his door and hurried in expecting to find him keeled over._

He looked up curiously at the furious knocking and worry-faced housekeeper, wondering what all the fuss was about.

 _She was relieved to find him upright but needed to check for mental injuries as he didn't look at all phased by the time, only a little curious and perhaps perturbed by her fast entrance._

" _ **Mr Carson, are you alright?"**_ _she asked hurriedly_

" **Why shouldn't I be?"** he replied sounding confused but still calm

He felt like he was forgetting something but couldn't think what until she reminded him

" _ **You've never rung the dressing gong and Mrs Patmore's doing a soufflé for the first course"**_

That did it. He gasped and stuttered: **"Oh my god,"** before following her rushing out of the room. His eyes slid downwards but he quickly reminded himself that he didn't need any _more_ distractions than he already had.

 **A/N: I don't know why you'd need both of them to ring the dressing gong, Did she think he needed a supervisor in his current state? Meh, just my little musings**

 **Two chapters this week because this one is abysmally short :D**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

 **A/N: this is the second (much longer half) of this weeks update, enjoy!**

 _She felt the need to be with him that night for his sake. He had been slightly off for days now and she was sure his concern extended past the headlock between Thomas and Mr Bates, but to what she didn't know._

 _She stood and watched him as he locked up the silver cupboard meticulously and upon finishing, sighed and hung his head._

He couldn't tell her. His loyalty to Lady Mary and her family was pulling him too much and locked his words in his chest. He wanted to share it with her, but feared her reaction. He wished she could comfort him, even without knowing why. He didn't wish for much but in this low moment he needed her comfort and advice.

 _She wanted to take those steps closer to him, graze her fingernails over the back of his neck and make him look at her, tell her what had happened. This was a simular reaction to the one he'd had when Grigg was threatening him, but this time she could tell it wasn't about his pride, it was something else._

 _She pushed the imaginary feel of his neck from her mind and spoke gently._

" _ **I wish you'd tell me what's troubling you,"**_ _she began and he looked up at her_

Her voice woke him from his weakness and gave him the strength to look into her eyes. He couldn't speak for fear of what he would say and allowed her to continue.

" _ **If it's this business with Mr Bates…"**_

He was almost tempted to use her offered excuse, but couldn't outright lie to her. He may not be able to tell her what was really bothering him, but he wouldn't lie.

" **No, it's not that. I'll get to the bottom of that."** He said, matter of factly. The truth would come out in the end if he let one of the foolish "witnesses" realise their mistake. He moved away from her and behind his desk.

 _She turned with him as he moved and stepped closer as she spoke._

" _ **I hope you'll do it soon. If there's one thing I hate it's an atmosphere, and we've got a real atmosphere going now"**_

He allowed her voice to wash over him as he sat and steepled his fingers.

 _He couldn't seem to look at her, when she glanced at him. When she finished speaking she tilted her chin towards him before continuing._

" _ **It's an unfair rumour that needs to be scotched"**_

He was really struggling with whether to share his burden. His loyalty to Lady Mary and the family weighed heavier on him than his friendship and the companionship that had grown between himself and the woman before him.

 _He still couldn't look at her and spoke as if in a daze, his fingers tapping as he examined the desk in front of him. She couldn't tell if her had been listening or not._

" **It's very hard to hear the names of people you love dragged through the mud,"** he began, **"I feel so powerless,"** he said as his eyes flicked towards her, looking for some kind of understanding or really anything to pull him out.

She was a little surprised by his words, still having no other context to compare with, she thought he was referring to Mr Bates.

 _Her hands moved to clasp in front of her, in an attempt to regain some understanding._

" _ **I respect Mr Bates, but I'm not sure that I love him,"**_ _she said in an attempt to be understanding_

" **I wasn't thinking of Mr Bates,"** he said simply and a little more harshly than he would have liked, almost glaring at her for not knowing.

 _He was being very strange tonight, and usually she could figure it out but not this time. He looked at her and maintained eye contact. Maybe he would tell her?_

A knock at the door cleared the air before anything began.

"Mr Carson have you got a minute?" She asked timidly

" _ **What is it Daisy, Mr Carson is a very busy man,"**_ _she intoned, slightly irritated that again they had been interrupted, though on a less weighty topic than last time._

 _She knew that he wouldn't handle Daisy as kindly as he normally would due to his present state so she had jumped in. She knew he wasn't physically busy at the moment but his mind was probably racing with what ever it was that was bothering and causing him to snap at ever herself_

"I know he is, but I think he'll want to hear this," Daisy says, addressing the housekeeper, "I told you something that wasn't true."

" **Why would you do that?"** he asked scathingly. More lies, he was furious, but not at Daisy.

"I did it as a favour for a friend, but I know now he was wrong to ask it of me"

For a moment he only stared at the young scullery maid, then turned to his other half, questioning the next move.

 _The poor man looked so lost, as if his world had lost another piece. She was chafed by Daisy's choice to lie but could not fault her for her honesty before any decision was made._

Her expression clearly said: "I told you so." Yep she was that smart one, she'd known that Mr Bates wasn't guilty. He had been so caught up in the scandal he daren't speak of he wasn't thinking properly.

 **A/N: Thoughts? I really like the fact that Mrs Hughes jumps in and reprimands Daisy for bothering them, calling him busy, when clearly he is sitting at his desk.**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

 **A/N: Thanks again to Teresagreen for reviewing :)**

 **When I wrote my note to remind myself of the scene before I started writing I called it: fixing the atmosphere.**

 **Enjoy ~**

He had finally come to a decision. He had gathered all the involved people in his pantry and began.

Mrs Hughes, Anna and himself stood on one side, facing Daisy, Thomas and Miss O'Brien across the pantry.

He was angry that this folly of an accusation had been allowed to get so far. As his other half put it, they hated an atmosphere.

" **Do you stand by your story?"** He demanded of Thomas

"I don't have a story," the footman said calmly, masking his annoyance

" **You saw Mr Bates alone in here, hanging up the cellar key, to me that is a story."** He countered, showing the footman exactly how this was going to run from now on.

"I only said I might have seen him, suppose I was wrong." The younger man said agitatedly, not wanting to entirely give up in his ploy.

He decided to try another tact. **"And Miss O'Brien were you then wrong when you thought you saw Mr Bates carrying a bottle?"**

Before Miss O'Brien could answer, Anna spoke, softly and confusedly.

"You wicked creature"

 _Though she may have agreed with Anna, she chose to show her thoughts by way of glaring fixedly at the lady's maid across from her. She reacted instinctively to Anna and gently asked her to be silent._

" _ **Anna, you are here to watch not to participate"**_

He had wanted her to be next to him for this, as she was with almost every other aspect of staffing but knew that Anna would need her more than he did. When he heard her soft voice, it resolved him to fix this once and for all.

"I don't think I was wrong, no." _The wretched woman spoke callously and confidently towards Mr Carson, ignoring the others present._

He chose to direct his next question at the accused party.

" **And what do you say to that Mr Bates?"**

"I know this to be untrue because I have no need of it, since I arrived at Downton, you have never seen me drink one drop of alcohol."

The valet spoke clearly and slowly, leaving no room for misunderstanding. He was glad to have his confidence restored in the man after the uncertainty.

 _Something about Mr Bates and his statement made her believe him. She could tell there was more behind his strained expression but decided to leave it up to her butler, he must have a plan._

" **Let us say then that Miss O'Brien was…mistaken,"** he continued, his rich voice carrying through the small room, the words dripping with his contempt at how large the lie had spun

"Mistaken my eye," Anna burst angrily.

 _Mrs Hughes only spared her a sideways look this time, not bothering to correct her as she completely agreed this time. Standing by a sinking ship was pretty stupid of O'Brien._

" **And Daisy we all know the value of your contribution."** He suggested, keeping the volume of his previous statements but loosing the harsh edge, he knew Daisy was not the mastermind here and just a pawn pulled in by a man who knew how to use infatuation to his advantage

"Yes Mr Carson," the girl echoed quietly, too ashamed of herself and the people she had allied with to say more.

He maintained eye contact with Daisy for a few moments, hiding a kind smile for her, before gathering his words for the next address to Mr Bates

" **But I must ask one thing Mr Bates. How did you know the wine had been taken?"**

 _She had been wondering the same thing herself, and Thomas's sudden clenched jaw and glance to Mr Bates told her everything she needed to know._

"I'm afraid I cannot answer that," he stated calmly.

 _With a glance at Mr Carson across the room she could see that he admired the man's principles but needed answers. As the issue had been brought directly to him, and it was a dismissible offence, he needed to know what had happened._

 **A/N: I know it's relatively short this week, and next week will be the rest of this scene.**

 **This scene was more about the two of them as a united front rather than lovey-dovey as in others, however their evident respect for each other is still clear though they don't directly interact. Thoughts?**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

 **A/N: my sincerest apologies for the late upload, I was without internet for several days.**

 **Thank you to suzie, Teresagreen and guest, I very much appreciated hearing your thoughts and ideas about the 'atmosphere'**

 **This is the extension scene of last chapter: 'fixing the atmosphere'**

 **Enjoy :D**

Daisy, O'Brien and Thomas filed out when dismissed but Mr Bates remained and blocked the door. Anna moved towards him as if to leave, but he shut the door and turned to them before she could.

"If I might keep you for a minute more Mr Carson"

" _ **If you'd like me to leave?"**_ _she offered stepping forward and closer to the butler_

"No, I would like you to stay please Mrs Hughes, and you Anna…you have decided not to take action over the allegations Thomas has made against me because you believe them to be untrue."

 _The poor man looked like he needed to let them hear these words but also wanted to keep them inside. The past was not a pretty thing for many, she could understand that_

" **That is correct,"** Mr Carson affirmed nodding to the man in front of him, wondering what he wanted to say.

"And you are right, there is no truth in them. But if you were to proceed with the matter you would find them to be proven," Mr Bates continued.

 _She could tell there was something big he wanted to say when he had asked them all to stay._

A confused silence filled the room, Mr Carson had drawn back at the confession. He was so stuck in his belief of Mr Bates' innocence that this had shocked him

 _She glanced at the butler, knowing he would react the most. He didn't like having his beliefs challenged, particularly about people he respected._

"Thomas has tried to convince you that I am a drunkard and a thief," the man continued.

He sounded so broken and hateful of himself she wanted to offer him comfort of some sort.

"Which we never believed," Anna reminded him

 _That girl was so in love with Mr Bates and he with her, but they seemed to always have something in their path, she thought silently._

 _There had to be more to this story._

"Because you know no different. Until a couple of years ago I was a drunkard and I was imprisoned as a thief."

 _She gasped. She couldn't help it. The Mr Bates she knew didn't fit with the man he was painting. She glanced to the butler beside her to see his reaction and was met with an impassive face masking confusion and anger_

"I have repaid your kindness very poorly. I masqueraded as a man of honour and integrity but by any moral code I am disgraced."

 _She glances to Carson and sees his impassive mask set but she sees the stunned expression there. She turns back to Mr Bates_

" _ **That can't be the whole story,"**_ _she said quietly, urging him to show the man he was now and not be haunted by the past._

"Perhaps not, but it's enough of it to demand my resignation," he continued determinedly

 _Mrs Hughes was shocked. She turned to Carson and studied him for a reaction. He knew how to handle this._

Carson raised a hand to stop the valet.

" **Do you want to leave Mr Bates?"** _He inquired quietly, the power of his voice still evident though his voice was low._

"No. But I feel I have no choice."

" **You owe me a say in the matter surely?"** He asked. _She was amazed at how calm he appeared. This was leadership, she reminded herself._

"If you wish."

" **Then I will consider the case and give you my decision when I have discussed it with his lordship. Until then I hope you will remain in your post."**

 _His voice had risen slightly when exerting his power and the mention of Lord Grantham seemed to strengthen him further. He won't like this but he'll make the right decision, that's the kind of man he is._

 _Bates glanced at her and found her gazing steadily back at him. She and her butler were a united front, a team. She supported him in his call and the valet had to accept that. It was for his own good._

After looking to Mrs Hughes, he turned to Anna. She was like a daughter to him. Seeing the pain in the way she looked at Bates then dropped her eyes to the floor was heartbreaking. He hoped Bates knew what he was doing.

 **A/N: this again is n't really a lovey dovey chapter because they're being heads of house and being a united team, there is more than lust in their eyes, it's respect, trust, loyalty and little dash of humour :)**

 **Thoughts?**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

 **A/N: Sorry for late upload again, my saturdays have become hectic which means uploads will be later in the day. On with the story!**

 **Episode 7 is upon us and that brings many Chelsie moments**

 **Gah – I love this scene in it's simplicity and how much can be read into it.**

July – August 1914

 _She had been bustling around upstairs checking everything was perfect and would live up to her exacting standards. The maids were going a little slowly for her taste today, particularly with Charles around._

 _She was a bit on edge if she were honest; she wanted to do a good job, it was her job. She wanted to feel like the female equivalent of her butler again._

 _While he had been away she had kept herself busy to keep her mind off him excessively. She was a pragmatic woman, she didn't cry and swoon when he wasn't around but she did notice when his strong presence wasn't there for 3 months of the year._

 _She found him outside, ordering around some of the hall boys and pulled him away from the chaos. The hall boys knew what they were doing without his commentary. They went in through the front door (He huffed a little beside her) and headed for the servants hall._

He followed her down the stairs, keeping to the outside of the staircase, holding onto the bannister. This was the first time he had seen her since London and he didn't want anything to go wrong, even something small like brushing her fingers with his on the inside bannister.

" _ **I haven't had a chance to ask, how was London?"**_

Oh how he had missed her kind, lilting voice. He took care to sound his usual jovial self. He wasn't usually jovial, her presence made him that way…but she didn't have to know that. He took care to keep his eyes from looking too low on the descent and kept his glance to the side.

 **"Oh much as usual, dirty, noisy, quote enjoyable"**

 _They reached the ground and she slowed, waiting for him to round the corner and join her. His good humour, for this was humour for him, made her grin._

He couldn't help but stare at her graceful back as she turned to look for him with a smile. Then there was he lovely smiling face, grinning at his attempt at a jest.

" _ **There was no need for you to come back a day early"**_

As she spoke again, he had to look away and took the corner at a wide angle to give himself some space between them.

" _ **I'm perfectly capable of getting the house ready."**_

 _They shared a moment of eye contact, neither prolonging the moment. They were just happy to be together again._

He walked closer to her, because of the narrow hallway of course.

 **"Of course you are."**

 _She looked at him, studying his profile as he walked beside her._

That compliment had fallen from his lips without him realising. He had meant what he said, she was capable on her own, he had just wanted to see her and have the luggage done of course.

" **But I like to have the heavy luggage back and unpacked before they arrive"**

Dear man, he couldn't possibly pay her a compliment just on it's own.

" _ **I suppose-"**_

She was interrupted by a preoccupied William barrelling down the hallway towards them, or maybe they were just caught up in each other for a moment too long.

 _They both stepped to the sides of the hallway to let him pass and looked upon him like parents._

" _ **Steady William, this isn't a race"**_

He so admired that she could be put out and yet so calm and gentle with the boy. He guessed she felt a maternal instinct towards him now more than ever, since his mother had passed.

The boy nodded quietly to her and kept walking.

They had stepped closer together as soon as William had passed them. He realised this only now, as they stood and spoke quietly

" _ **Poor lad,"**_ _she murmured, watching him glide away, before turning her gaze to him sadly._

" **But he did see her, I was worried when I took him to King's Cross."**

She nodded resolutely, closing off her sadness for the boy and looking away.

The way he was talking, made her think that William was their own. The fact that he had taken William himself to the station demonstrated his beautiful heart.

" _ **Yes, he had time to say goodbye"**_

He looked away from her and after the retreating figure.

" **How is he now?"**

 _She glanced quickly at him and tilted her head as she shrugged._

" _ **Well, you've only got one mother haven't you"**_

Her gentle smile grew on him, but he hated to think that she believed she wasn't good enough to be William's downstairs mother. The way she had spoken told him that she was upset for the boy but wanted to help him as a mother would. He wanted that for her.

 _She would be where William could find her if he needed her. He knew her door was always open to homesick young maids and footmen. She would do what she could for him._

The sound of running footsteps alerted them to Gwen's presence.

"They're here Mrs Hughes," she said hurriedly, before turning and running back up the stairs

They turned to each other again, taking a deep breath each and strode purposefully down the hallway. This time he was in full butler mode and buttoned his coat as they turned.

Together they would face the family.

 **A/N: Oops, did I make it seem like they were together? Nah, Me? What? Why would I do that? :D Thoughts?**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

 **A/N: Thank you to Teresagreen for your comment on the 'perfect team' - one of the best descriptors used for them.**

 **this scene is so cute in their little looks and again, teamwork, when she speaks he looks proud and when he speaks she just looks so happy.**

 **Anyway, enjoy!**

July 1914

 _She was waiting in the hall for the family. He had preceded her and greeted them at the door. She was glad they were back, as it meant he was back as well._

"What a relief to be home," _his lordship announced as he entered_

Amen to that, he thought as he admired Mrs Hughes following the family into the hall

"Don't listen when his lordship pretends not to enjoy the season," _Lady Cora chided_

"When in Rome," _he replied casually_ , bringing the group up to meet her.

" _ **Will Lady Mary be back soon?"**_ _she enquired, taking notice of the butlers position as he moved to stand beside her._

"She's staying on with my sister for a couple of weeks," _Lord Grantham replied_

"So Grantham House is closed?" _she clarified_

He couldn't help himself but gaze proudly from beside her. Her attention to detail was admirable in all situations.

"It will be by the end of this week," _Lady Grantham replied_ , "Dear Mrs Hughes, I hope you've had some time to yourself while we've been away."

 _She was flattered that the woman wanted her to have a life away from them but her life was only properly alive and full when he was with her. She had spent time reading at night but found her mind wandering to London and strolling hand in hand with the strong solid man beside her now._

Her head tilted away from the question just as she deflected praise and answered with more work she had completed.

" _ **I've tackled a few jobs that get forgotten about when the house is full"**_

 _She stole a glance at him while she was speaking and smiled to see the proud grin that resided there. Oh her beautiful man, his evident pride in her work as much as his was gratifying_

"Any local news?" Robert queried, changing the subject after a pause.

They both raised their eyebrows, before turning towards each other as she answered.

" _ **The main topic here is the murder of the Austrian Archduke,"**_ _she conceded quietly, her gaze moving from his eyes when they met down to his suit._

The assassination had been the topic on everyone's mind, and she had been on his.

" **Here and everywhere else,"** he finished smoothly.

They really were like a well-oiled machine, he mused silently.

"Well, I'm afraid we haven't heard the last of that." His Lordship muttered

"How is William?" he continued quietly

 _Her pride and happy mood from a few moments before were gone and her face fell. He answered for both of them._

" **Baring up."**

"Poor chap. He has our sympathies," His lordship volunteered, looking down before announcing his departure to the room at large.

Bates followed the earl from the room and Carson shared a quick glance with his beautiful housekeeper before peeling away as well.

 _Her eyes followed him until Her Ladyship addressed her again._

"Oh Mrs Hughes, have you had any thoughts about the garden party for the hospital?"

 **Apologies for the shortness this week. As always I'd love to hear what you think :D**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

 **A/N: short chapter this week, but one of my favourite small scenes. Thank you again to my loyal reviewers Teresagreen and suzie as well as a guest last week. It's always great to know the 'eyeing up' is seen universally. Let's get into it...**

 _She was standing in the doorway to her sitting room, when he joined her._

" _ **I hate to spoil her ladyship's homecoming, but what are we going to do about Mrs Patmore?"**_

He looked at her as she spoke, wondering how beauty and brains managed to combine.

" _ **She's worse than when you left, much worse"**_

They stood there watching Daisy and Mrs Patmore for a moment before she looked back at him and changed the subject, sounding all business again.

" _ **Oh and I meant to ask…"**_ _she said, her eyes finding his before continuing._

" _ **Is there a decision about Mr Bates leaving?**_

He sighed and spoke **"Not yet. His lordship wants the facts and Mr Bates won't give them"**

 _Her eyes lowered. There was so much to fix and all she wanted to do was take that extra step into his arms. She looked back to the kitchen._

His eyes hovered on her cheekbone for a moment before he too looked away

 _His rumbling quiet voice continued, charming her. Standing this close to him, hearing his voice, lowered and gentle, only for her, this as what she loved. This was what she missed when he was away._

" **So what are you going to say to her ladyship about Mrs Patmore?"**

 _Her sigh was the release of the tension she had felt while he was gone, the weight of the decision hanging over her as she had watched the Cook get worse._

Her sigh was alluring to him. He had missed her femininity. Her strength and wisdom had lived in his memories during his time in London but her femininity eluded him. Maybe because he wouldn't allow himself to think about it.

Her voice broke his thoughts

" _ **Oh, I'm not sure. I don't want the poor woman sacked. But…things cannot go on as they are."**_

 _When she turned to him again, she found his eyes on her already. They shared a moment of connection before turning back to the kitchen. He took a step away from her and headed for the stairs._

He wanted to take her hand and kiss it, assure her that all would work out. But he couldn't. Instead he left her there, in the doorway of her sitting room.

 **A/N: in my opinion they seem to stare at each other, but when the other looks at them, they look away, especially during their daytime/working chats. Thoughts?**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

 **A/N: Thank you to my reviewers. And thank you to the guest you left a suggestion to add the episode number before each chapter.**

 **This little scene is such a gem in their relationship and really is one of the most beautiful moments of unintentional flirting in season 1.**

* * *

Episode 7

* * *

She had been doing the rounds of downstairs when he found her and joined.

 _As they left the room beside the stairs, her slightly ahead of him so they might continue their walk without touching_

 _He caught up to her in one stride before she began_

" _ **I love the thought of a baby in the house, but if it's a boy-"**_

" **-It'll be very hard on Mr Crawley."**

She turned towards him, allowing him to finish. He met her eyes as they continued and finally he looked away before continuing.

" **I know"** he almost whined, hating to sound like a child again. It always seemed to be that she was saying 'I told you so.' He went on as she stopped in front of the door to his pantry and he turned to her.

" **I was no great champion when he first arrived…"** As he turned he couldn't help his eyes wandering down her form and back to her face

 _He continued, her gaze on his face as she looked at him in wonderment. The man before her, her stoic butler hated to admit when he was wrong and here he was, doing just that._

" **But it seems to me, he's tried his best and he's done the decent thing"**

 _His pronouncement was spoken with his usual gusto and she couldn't help but look a little blank before teasing him._

" _ **I can't see that coming off,"**_ _she said, looking at the ceiling and folding her hands in front of her_

 _His poor sweet face fell a little as her opinion hit home_

" **You don't mean the engagement?"**

 _She turned back to him and answered, smile catching the corners of her mouth_

" _ **But it's not an engagement yet is it?"**_

 _His tiny smile and changed tone told her he was playing too._

" **She'd never throw him over"**

 _She gazed at him for a second before, allowing herself to laugh_

" _ **Mr Carson. Lady Mary Crawley does not deserve you"**_

 _She meant it but said in such a jesting way she knew he could take it as she intended. A compliment._

He huffed and averted his gaze before settling back on her, smiling and walked into his pantry. Her beautiful smile followed him.

 _The man couldn't take a compliment. His loyalty was something she loved about him and to see him play (she didn't want to believe it was flirting) like that was something that made her heart warm. She smiled as he excused himself instead of answering, allowing herself to laugh again._

 _He really was a piece of work._

 **A/N: I love her face. Have I mentioned how much I love Phyllis Logan?**

 **Thoughts on the chapter?**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

 **A/N: Hello lovely people. I apologise for the long absence, I had school stuff happening and I ran out of pre-written chapters.**

 **Anyway, I'm back for a bit now. I HAVE COMPLETED SEASON 1!**

 **There are 3 more chapters after this one to complete season 1, then I move on to the task of season 2.**

 **This story is out of sync with the usual posting schedule, so there will be one on saturday morning (my time)**

 **This chapter is not one of my faves, as I was writing it, I found there was little for me to comment on, though it does show their strength as a parenting team, as will be demonstrated in the following chapter as well.**

 **On to the story!**

* * *

Episode 7

* * *

" **Will you join us Mrs Bird?"** he boomed from bedside his place at the head of the table. He was a little distracted by the fact that the lovely housekeeper had just slid past him to get to her place.

"I don't mind if I do" she replied.

As he turned to take his seat, Daisy objected

"I'm not sure Mrs Patmore would like that Mr Carson. Cook always eats separate that's what she says"

 _The two of them exchanged a look, deciding what to do._

 _Mr Carson's face, she noticed, looked like that of an unhappy duck. She refused to let her mirth surface though as this as an important matter of rules and was his forte._

"Not in our house. There's only the four of us," Mr Molesley added cheerfully

He took his seat proudly as Thomas and Miss O'Brien plotted, and was careful to avert his eyes when she took her seat beside him.

" _ **Let the kitchen maids have theirs on their own, you stay with us,"**_ _She suggested to solve the problem, allowing Mr Carson some breathing room._

He couldn't help but re-settle himself in his seat to further avert his eyes from her hovering…he coughed inwardly to himself and finished her sentence as if nothing had happened.

" **Her ladyship said to tell you that the dinner was delicious"**

"She can't have" Daisy said without realising

" **Daisy?"** he began gently as the housekeeper looked at him, **"does that surprise you?"**

Allowing his gentle reprimand to sink in they started on their soup, the sound of clinking china and spoons filling the room.

Mrs Bird spat violently into he bowl. She to looked away from the butler and jumped slightly, accidentally knocking her knee against his

"What have you done with this you little beggar? I knew it! That's why I said it was for upstairs." Mrs Bird raged

There was a moment of silence when they both looked at Daisy until Mrs Bird slammed her hand against the table, making them all jump and spoke again

"Come on. Tell us what's in it"

"Just water and a bit of soap…"

 _She was shocked. She knew her mouth was hanging open but she did nothing to hide it._

"And you put something in the fish sauce as well?" Mrs Bird continued

Daisy shook her head, "only mustard and aniseed"

Before Mrs Bird could say anything more, Mrs Hughes slammed her hands on the table and stood up

" **Why Daisy? Why would you do such a thing?"**

"Because Mrs Patmore was worried that they'd prefer Mrs Bird's cooking and they wouldn't want her to come back," the poor girl sobbed

In rare cases, when Mrs Hughes' Scottish temper flared, like now, he allowed himself to take on her role of kindness

" **Is that likely, when they taken such trouble to get her well,"** he offered, allowing an edge to remain in his voice and show his distaste

 _She was thankful that Mr Carson came to her aid and allowed herself to take a breath and look at him before turning back to Daisy, wondering how the girl could have got it so wrong_

"I'm sorry," Daisy demurred still sobbing

 _She had no idea how to proceed. As a kitchen maid Daisy was not directly under her supervision and she really didn't know how to respond. She sat heavily in her chair, swivelling her knees to face the front as Mrs Bird took charge._

"There there, there are worse crimes on earth than loyalty." Mrs Bird offered kindly.

"Dry your eyes and fetch the beef stew I was making for tomorrow. You've not had a chance to spoil that I s'pose?" she asked with a humorous lilt

"I was going to mix in some syrup of figs but I've not done it yet," Daisy babbled, eliciting a general hum of laughter from the table before running to the kitchen to fetch the pot.

"Well I suppose we'd have all been regular," Thomas grumbled.

 _She closed her eyes against Thomas' jest and sighed, wondering how loyalty could throw someone quite so. She supposed if her loyalty to Mr Carson were tested it would stretch quite far, as would his for her. That simple thought warmed her as she pulled her chair closer to the table and stole a glance at him, still sighing from the ordeal of a few moments ago._

 **A/N: Thoughts? Agree, disagree, I'm not sure either.**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

 **A/N: Hello Hello, once again I am back and in a writing mood.**

 **This chapter is a sad moment for the assembled downstairs crew. The loss of the baby.**

* * *

Episode 7

* * *

 _They all sit as if under a dark spell in the servants hall._

" _ **That poor wee babe,"**_ _she begins with a tremor in her voice_

"How is her ladyship doing?" Anna inquired gently

" _ **I'll take her up a tray in a minute but I dare say she wont touch a bite,"**_ _she answered sadly_

"What about you Miss O'Brien?" William asked

"What about me?" she shot back, her head turning quickly towards him, her voice lacking the usual hard edge

"It must have been quite a shock," he continued

"Yes, yes it was" she answered quietly and turned back to her forlorn gaze forward

" **I think you'd better dine with us Mr Branson, we can't know if you might be needed later,"** _he said, his strong voice filling the heavy silence_

"Well I'm to go for the doctor at 10," Branson said, moving to take a seat at the table.

Thomas filed in behind him, taking a look around

"What a long-faced lot"

" **Kindly show some respect,"** Carson grumbled, disturbed by the first footman

"Come on Mr Carson, she'll get over it, they're no bigger than a hamster at that stage," Thomas drawled.

"Will you shut up," Mr Bates spat

 _ **"I agree, what is the matter with you Thomas?"**_ she hissed angrily, showing her contempt for the man who refused to show concern or respect for the family they served.

"I don't know, I s'pose all this makes me feel claustrophobic. I mean I'm sorry, course I am but why must we live through them? They're just our employers they're not our flesh and blood," he continued

"Thomas don't be so unkind," Daisy interrupted

"Is there nothing left on earth that you respect?" William concurred

"Well look at him. Blimey if he carries on like this for the unborn baby of a woman who scarcely knows his name, no wonder he fell to pieces when his old mum snuffed it," Thomas drawled, once more offending the room

 _She gasped silently and looked to Mr Carson. He looked to her quickly before they both returned their gaze to the scene unfolding before them. As the parents of downstairs they had a degree of authority but they couldn't stop Thomas speaking his mind._

Suddenly William lunged out of his chair aiming for Thomas' shoulder before punching him squarely in the face.

" **William!"** the butler boomed as the people sitting at the table sprung up out of the way

The butler stood too, not taking his eyes off the pair now wrestling on the table, and felt her soft hand graze his arm as she stood and moved away.

Attempting to regain control he continued to boom, his voice becoming more insistent: **"Thomas! William! Stop that! That is enough!"**

 _She saw the worry begin to form behind his eyes, and the stray curl escape as the two rolled off the table and on to the floor._

Branson intervened, grabbing William off Thomas and Carson pulled the other footman off the floor and pushed him towards the door.

He stepped towards William, not saying a word. He patted the young footman's shoulder and turned away towards her, breathing deeply. Her eyes followed the exchange and met his with mirroring worry.

"He had that coming," Branson chuckled weakly in the background

 **A/N: Thoughts?**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

 **A/N: Hey guys, two chapters this week as they're on the short side. As always enjoy and feel free to share your thoughts**

* * *

Episode 7

* * *

 _She watched Branson and Lady Sybil run towards to serving tent and meet with Gwen before all of them embraced excitedly. She wandered towards them, breaking up the group offering Gwen her congratulations kindly but firmly and suggesting she finish her work._

 _When Branson turned to Lady Sybil and begun to speak in the lowered voice of a man enthralled, she interrupted._

" _ **Lady Sybil, her Ladyship was asking after you,"**_ _she hinted, allowing the girl to leave before turning to Mr Branson_

" _ **Be careful my lad. Or you'll end up with no job and a broken heart,"**_ _she cautioned_

"What do you mean?" _he mumbled, refusing to understand her. Tilting her head and sighing at him she walked away._

 _She had meant what she said, servants never ended up with the upper class. It just wasn't done, even two servants were frowned upon. She couldn't help but wonder if she confessed to Mr Carson, where that would lead. Most likely, as she warned Branson of, no job and a broken heart. Shaking her head quietly to herself she continued to supervise the garden party she had created._

 _It was no small feat and she was so proud that when they did get to spend a moment together, he acknowledged her hard work._

" **Well done Mrs Hughes. Beautifully executed as always,"** he declared, his pride in her and her work showing in his voice and words.

 _She looked at him as he spoke, allowing herself to openly admire him in the sunlight._

" _ **Key is in the planning,"**_ _she deflected, looking away from him but tilting her head towards him as she spoke._

 _Thomas approached them carrying a tray of empty glasses_

"Mr Carson, this probably isn't the moment but I've just heard from Doctor Clarkson and I have been accepted into a training scheme for the army medial corps."

They both looked away at that, not allowing their relief, and in her case laughter, to show through.

" **Have you indeed,"** he acknowledged

"Yes and I want to do it so I'll be handing in my notice. I'll serve out the month of course," the footman continued

 _She watched him then, how he handled his anger and continued to speak calmly, if a little sarcastically to the footman._

" **Thank you Thomas, we can talk about it later,"** he intoned

 _She allowed a moment to pass of watching him._

" _ **And you couldn't have planned that any better either"**_ _she jested lightly, turning to look at him with a small smile. His answering smile all the confirmation she needed._

Her humour was a welcome joy in that moment, he thought as he turned to watch her smile light up her face. Her soft sigh as their eyes met did not go unnoticed, though unremarked upon.

They both turned away once more, the butler puffed up with pride and the housekeeper wearing a small smile on her face still.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

 **A/N: Second chapter of this week, very short, but I felt it was it's own scene and moment.**

* * *

Episode 7

* * *

He had delivered the letter to his lordship and given the news of Thomas' imminent departure before returning to her side to supervise the party.

"Please would you stop please," His Lordship called waving his hat in the air.

"My lords, ladies and gentlemen. Can I ask for silence? Because I very much regret to announce that we are at war with Germany."

The assembled party gasped, including Mrs Hughes, who in her surprise had taken a step backward, closer to him. Or maybe he had stepped closer to her. Neither of them knew, what they did know was that they would need each other more in the approaching times than ever before.

She was in shock, she turned her head towards him and saw confusion mar his face as his gaze fell to the ground then found hers.

They were at war.

* * *

 **A/N: And with that we have finished season 1! Look forward to season 2 next week**


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

 **A/N: This marks the beginning of Season 2. Here is episode 1**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 1

* * *

November 1916

Polishing the silver used to be a soothing task for him, but these days, with the war, it was more of a chore. With only one footman left to him, a lot of the extra work fell into his lap.

He was bustling busily around his pantry when he heard her heels clicking quietly down the passageway. She entered and looked around with a sigh at the piles of silver on every service.

 _The poor man was flustered, that much was obvious. He had been working himself too hard to fill the hole of the missing footman._

" _ **You should let William do that,"**_ _she reprimanded gently_

" **He's got enough on his hands getting the uniforms out of mothballs,"** he said, not looking at her. He hadn't stopped all day, and they had barely seen each other due to all the organising. If he stopped to admire her soft voice and lovely smell he didn't think he could stop.

 _The dear man didn't even stop to look at her, he was so busy_

" **I must remember to put Anna on alert for dinner tonight,"** he remembered and chanced a glance at her from under his eyebrows

" _ **You have to ease up a bit, or you'll give yourself a heart attack. There's a war on. Things cannot be the same when there's a war on,"**_ _she demanded, allowing her care for him to show._

 _Love showed itself in many different ways and for her it manifested in her humour, her care for him. This man would work himself to death if unchecked by her._

Secretly he was glad she fussed around him but he had a job to do and the family depended on him to get it done, footmen or no footmen.

" **I do not agree. Keeping up standards is the only way to show the Germans that they will not beat us in the end"**

" _ **Give me some warning the next time we're expecting Germans at Downton and I'll see what I can do,"**_ _she said annoyed at his inability to comprehend and stalked out of the room._

He knew he'd done it now. She was only trying to help him, take care of him. He watched her leave with a grimace.

* * *

 **A/N: I love her teasing and fussing and secretly I think Mr Carson does as well**


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

 **A/N: Hello all, here's another chapter for you (and it's actually on time!)**

 **Anyway, thank you to Manygreentrees for your thoughts and reviews on the previous chapters, I love to read them and have a little moment of sunshine :)**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 1

* * *

 _During the concert when she had a moment of peace, she headed downstairs to find the butler._

 _He was in his pantry decanting wine when she entered._

" _ **Have you found something nice?"**_ _she began_

" **Why particularly?"** he questioned, not looking up.

He hated being at odds with her but questioning his work was not something he looked kindly on.

" _ **As a welcome home for Mr Matthew,"**_ _she continued, a lilt to her voice and a click in her step as she finally steeped into his pantry and up to his desk._

He grunted in disapproval

" _ **Oh what's the matter, I thought you'd come round to him?"**_

" **Yes, well last time he was here he hadn't broken Lady Mary's heart,"** he stated callously, looking up at her from the wine

 _She shook her head as she wandered over to inspect the fireplace._

" _ **Lady Mary broke her own heart. That's if she had a heart to break"**_

This was a normal gentle row for them. He had watched Lady Mary grow up and was very fond of her, whereas he knew Mrs Hughes didn't hold her in high regard.

" **I don't think we're ever going to see eye to eye on this Mrs Hughes,"** he said calmly, focussing on his task

" _ **She refused him when she thought he'd have nothing. And when he was heir again she wanted him back."**_ _She explained, exasperated. How could he not understand, even this once?_

" **I thought caution was a virtue,"** he said bluntly

" _ **Caution may be, but self interest is not,"**_ _she huffed_

" _ **Perhaps Miss Swire is a gentler person,"**_ _she continued firmly, knowing she would get a response from him this time_

 _She'd done it now. The prideful man, whose voice of velvet was her sanity and her destruction, had emerged._

" **If you ask me, this Miss Swire, who it may interest you to know, does not appear in Burke's peerage or Burke's landed gentry, has an eye to the main chance."**

 _She eyed him with simmering want before quashing it behind simple humour._

" _ **And that's not snobbish I suppose?"**_ _she challenged_

He was shocked by her words and looked up to see her eyes blazing with…no he was seeing things, surely.

Her beautiful voice in the semi-darkness coupled with the look she was wearing was too much. He had to go.

" **I like to see things done properly Mrs Hughes and I wont apologies for that. Now if you'll excuse me,"** he said brusquely, hoping that the effect she had on him was not evident in his voice.

He picked up the decanters and left quickly, careful not to look at her but also not to look at the floor.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

 **A/N: Hi guys, it was great to hear from a few of you last week.**

 **This chapter has very little I could work with as most of the angles are from behind Mrs Hughes, but I did my best**

 **As always I'd love to hear what you think**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 1

* * *

"I still don't understand how it's funny to make me look a fool. You weren't even there to enjoy it," Ethel intoned at Miss O'Brien over breakfast the next morning

"Oh don't worry, we enjoyed all right from down here," Miss O'Brien quipped back

" **Miss O'Brien, her ladyship has asked me to take the incident no further, don't tempt me to disobey"** he spoke, his tiredness in the matter showing through in his gravelly voice

 _She looked back at her plate when his gravelly voice broke in. His voice sounded more powerful in the quietness of the room. His talk of disobeying was rather interesting she mused. He never thought about going against orders from the Grantham's. She wondered what else he'd disobey…_

 _She stopped her thoughts immediately and turned them to the conversation unfolding before her. Though she enjoyed this new gravelly sound to his baritone, he did sound a little under the weather. She made a note to ask him about it later._

" **Did I see Lady Sybil in the kitchen yesterday?"** he continued, this time addressing Mrs Patmore

"She wants to learn some cooking" Mrs Patmore answered with a hint of humour

"She says she going to train to be a nurse so she needs to know how to cook and clean and everything" Daisy said admiringly as she poured the kettle

" **Has she told her ladyship about this?"** he asked, concerned

"It's supposed to be a surprise," Daisy answered quietly, glancing at him quickly

He pouted and turned away from Daisy, finding himself looking at the bemused Mrs Hughes.

" _ **Mr Carson it speaks well of Lady Sybil that she wants to help the wounded, lets no give her away."** She gently chided him, finding his indignant state quite sweet_

Her voice was so calming to him, and provided the needed humorous break from household matters.

He wasn't in the mood for her cheer this morning and hid his glare behind his cup of tea. He wanted to smile back at her, but he was still not in the mood and no amount of her beautiful smiles or head tilts could change that.

"Why shouldn't she learn how to cook and scrub? She may need it when the war's over. Things are changing for her lot and us. And when they do I mean to make the most of it," Ethel announced to the silence of clinking cutlery

 _Mrs Patmore's snorting laugh said it all. She turned to look at the amused cook, sharing a small smile_

"I take it they ate all the pancakes last night then?" Ethel asked in response

"They did," Mrs Patmore said firmly and left the servant's hall

 _Mrs Hughes sipped her tea quietly. The things that went on in the servant's hall these days…_


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

* * *

Season 2, Episode 1

* * *

"Firstly you'll hand in your notice"

"And what reason do I give?"

"You don't need a reason, just ell them that you're going. And then tomorrow we head back to London; we'll stay in your mother's house for the time being until we get ourselves sorted. And in case you're wondering whatever my future plans may be, they will involve you"

 _She switched the latch back to close the vent and moved the box back to its place in front. She didn't know what she had just been witness to, but it didn't sound good_.

* * *

 _The conversation she had overheard had been chasing itself in circles in her brain for many hours now and she knew she had to tell the butler._

" _ **I wish you'd stop working for one minute,"**_ _she sighed stepping into his pantry in a spare moment. The poor man was working himself too hard since Thomas had gone and she knew if he continued he'd be doing himself a disservice._

His raised finger, asking her to wait was his only response

" _ **At least put the light on or you'll strain your eyes,"**_ _she continued practically, her care for him not stopped by his raised digit._

" **It's getting dark so early now,"** he conceded, pausing from his work to turn the lamp on and look at her.

She was closer than he expected, and he couldn't help but take in the sight of her before continuing.

" **Has she gone?"** he continued in askance of Lady Sybil

" _ **She has,"**_ _the housekeeper replied softly, her fondness for the young woman coming through in her voice._

" _ **So, we've lost Mr Bates and Lady Sybil in one day,"**_ shesaid sadly

" **I can't believe it,"** he sighed allowing his annoyance at Mr Bates' sudden departure to cloud his voice

" **I 'spose I'll have to look after his lordship now, on top of everything else,"** finally allowing her to see the strain he was putting himself under

" _ **And I don't want any jokes about broomsticks or sweeping the floor,"**_ she offered in jest, allowing them both to laugh a little

" **His Lordship has his regimental dinner in Richmond tonight, that means he'll be in the full thig,"** he muttered, planning the night ahead of him

She hummed in agreement, _**"you'll manage,"**_ she proffered quietly

" **You know, when Mr Bates first came to this house, I thought he could never do the work, now I can't imagine the place without him."** Just like he couldn't imagine the place without her. He quickly changed the subject

" **Did you see this coming, because I didn't,"** he finished confusedly

Usually when one of them, usually him, missed something, the other, usually her, knew something about it. This time was no different.

" _ **I have a confession,"**_ _she began, wringing her hands a little in her anxiety._

He drew back a little from her before she continued.

" _ **I let them have their tea in my sitting room…"**_ _she began, looking him directly in the eye_

" **That was nice of you,"** he complimented. She always was a generous soul; however there seemed to be something more to this confession

 _She conceded with a nod of her head, slightly knocked off track by his compliment._

" _ **It was quite nice but I had my reasons,"**_ _she said, pacing to stand on the other side of him, preparing herself to tell him one of her secrets._

" _ **There's a grating on the wall which means you can hear what's being said in the room,"**_ _she said, speaking quickly to get it over with_

Her fast speech and inclined head told him she knew exactly why Mr Bates had left in such a hurry. He titled his head in return and spoke as if they were conspiring

" **Now if I was a gentleman I wouldn't want to know,"** he spoke with a hint of humour

" _ **But you're not,"**_ she replied, playing along

" **Fortunately,"** he intoned, allowing his eyes to rake over her form before he turned in his chair to close the door

 _She knew this was a serious situation but she couldn't stop her minute feeling of joy at their ability to find humour in any situation. And she hadn't missed how his eyes had scanned her figure._

 _He turned to shut the door and she took a deep breath, preparing what she heard._


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: Hey guys, it's been a month since I last updated this story so I'm super sorry about that. To make it up to you I've been on a writing spree and I'll be uploading 4 chapters (one for each week I've missed) every 2 days. This is the first installment. Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 2

* * *

April 1917

* * *

 _She strode around the house, with a purpose. Her purpose: to find him. He had been mysteriously absent from his usual haunts and she had gone in search of him, occasionally getting side-tracked by odd jobs here and there._

 _Finally she reached the hall and picked up an abandoned vase of flowers to put in the library. Entering and hearing noise in the fireplace, her heart skipped to finally catch sight of him again, and from her angle, his backside. Then she saw what he was doing and her protectiveness flared._

" _ **Why on earth are you doing that?"**_ _she exclaimed, placing the flowers on a nearby table to quell her immediate urge to go to him and make him stop herself and also to dampen the blush that rose at the view she had just received_

" **Well someone's got to"** he muttered reproachfully, looking up and finding her back turned. Looking away to avoid his eyes travelling south, he continued to stock firewood.

" _ **Yes indeed they do, and that someone is William or one of the maids."**_

 _She had finally turned to him, continuing in her need to protect him from himself, and unable to touch him, she had only her voice left to use._

He looked away and picked up the basket, heading towards the door, knowing that if he was in the room too much longer with their gentle teasing and bickering he might just kiss her, and that wouldn't be good for anyone

" _ **You're making work for yourself Mr Carson and I've no sympathy with that."**_

Their eyes met as she said his name, the thrill of it rolling off her tongue made him look down as he walked past her. He turned when she finished speaking and answered her.

" **I'm not asking for sympathy,"** he grumbled, walking away from her angry that he hadn't been able to accept her kindness openly. As he left the library, he was reminded of how the light had hit her features as she titled her head at him. He had wanted to kiss her for worrying about him and assure her that he was perfectly fit to stock the fireplace. All that had come out was his flare of annoyance and he hated that that was all she saw. He had turned away as soon as his harsh words left his mouth to avoid seeing the playful smile that he loved so much, slip off her face.

 _She knew he was stressed and busy, she knew that very well. She was as well, but that did not give him the excuse to be a grumpy old codger. She let the smile fade from her eyes and went back to checking on the maids, her professional façade that only slipped around him, firmly back in place._

* * *

 **A/N: hashtag married couple much! Wow they're like an old married couple sometimes and it's so cute. Their arguments are about nothing and yet they matter so much to him and it's adorable.**


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: as promised, here is the second installment. It isn't a Chelsie scene but one between Anna and Mrs Hughes and she has one of my favourite lines.**

 **As always enjoy and tell me what you think :)**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 2

* * *

 _The sounds of preparation were the background sounds of Downton Abbey and as Mrs Hughes shuffled through her papers, she heard the second familiar sound. A knock sounded on her door, a knock she recognised as Anna. The young housemaid was not unlike a surrogate daughter to her and she cherished her youthful faith._

" _ **Is everything under control?"**_ _she asked Anna as she came in_

"Mr Lang seems a bit nervous," _Anna began_

 _She waved it off,_ _ **"stage fright,"**_ _before coming closer to the girl_ _ **"but what about you?"**_

 _Anna shook her head as if she hadn't even thought about herself._ "Oh, I'm a trooper. And we can't complain can we, not when you think what's going on in France."

 _She smiled, allowing a small silence to pass, appreciating Anna's resilience though knowing she wasn't saying half of what she was feeling._

" _ **Still, a broken heart can be as painful as a broken limb"**_

"Don't feel sorry for me Mrs Hughes. I'm not, and I know what real love is and there aren't many who can say that. I'm one of the lucky ones"

 _Mrs Hughes ducked her head for a moment, allowing Anna's words to take effect._ _**"If you say so,"**_ _she said gently, watching as Anna left the room and allowing her face to wilt slightly._

 _Her heart had broke every time she saw him and her heart was flooded with love. It broke because she knew it wasn't, couldn't be returned. Every time she saw him show his beautiful generous heart, every time he joked with her, every time they almost flirted before being interrupted. Her heart broke. She thought by now she would be stronger but with each passing month and year in his company, she found the resistance she tried to build would crumble with one of his smiles or backhanded compliments._

 _She had broken her leg as a child, playing on the farm with Becky, and that hurt so much less than the pain she felt in her heart and stomach when he walked away. It wasn't constant like the pain of a broken limb but it came in waves after a particularly radiant smile._

 _The trouble was she didn't want the smiles, the teasing, the almost flirting or showing his generous soul to stop. She simply conceded to live as she was, and mother all her flock as best she could._


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: here is the third installment of my "please forgive me" gift, sorry it's a bit late. Enjoy and tell me what you think :)**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 2

* * *

He felt the grips of fire around his heart and couldn't bear to stand upright anymore, hunching over the tray he had been serving with a huge groan. He had attempted to wave away the help of the family, but they refused to leave him. He saw a flurry of black beaded material through a gap and turned away, hating to be seen by anyone in this condition let alone by her.

 _She hurried into the dining room wanting to be the one to help him but drew back when she saw the crowd around him and heard the doctor being called for. She turned and directed the other servants to various jobs, ensuring that when the family were ready to sit back down to their meal, that it would be ready._

* * *

" **May I give you one piece of advice, my lady? Tell him what's in your heart. If you still love him, let him know. Then even if he's killed, and he may be. You wont be sorry, but if you don't tell him, you will regret it all your life long."**

"But what about Miss Swire?"

" **Miss Swire. As if any man in his right mind could prefer Miss Swire to you"**

Lady Mary's beaming smile told him he had said the right thing, and he had meant it. The door handle rattled as it was turned, making them both look.

 _Mrs Hughes walked in, looking at her shoes before her eyes came up to see Lady Mary before her._

Truth be told he was nervous to have her in his bedroom, and to be in such a compromising position. He hated to be the one she had to care for, but smiled to himself to see her with his tray of medicine, knowing she wouldn't let anyone else tend to him.

 _Truth be told she was nervous to be going into his room. This was a space that was solely his, and one she had the privilege to visit. While his pantry smelt of a working Mr Carson, a smell she loved dearly, this room smelt like Charles, the man under the bluster, her new favourite smell._

" _ **Oh I'm so sorry my lady, I didn't know you were in here,"**_ _she backtracked quickly, her mouth falling open to see Lady Mary in his bedroom._

"I was just going. Carson's been boosting my confidence"

 _Mrs Hughes stepped aside to allow Lady Mary to pass her before looking back at him. She waited until the door was closed before she put her tray down and uncorked the bottle of medicine._

" _ **That's something I'd have never have thought she was short of,"**_ _she muttered, raising her eyebrows at him, seeing him return the jest and raise his back._

After giving him the medicine, she had slipped out of the room again, not wanting to keep him up when he should be resting. He had allowed her to go, knowing that if she had stayed the urge to pull her onto the bed and hold her may have overtaken him. His words to Lady Mary rang true to his soul. He had loved the same woman for 15 years and he so wanted to tell her what was in his heart. He couldn't. He would always be the bumbling, blustering butler next door, he had never really had the charm of other men and so managed to fall into the shadows of the housekeeper's affections.

He didn't have any burning desire to tell her because he had no indication (nor was he looking for any) that his feelings were returned. He was happy to live in solitude if it meant having her for a friend.


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: This is the last part of my gift, posted early because I was busy yesterday so you get two now. After now, posting schedule goes back to normal. Enjoy :)**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 2

* * *

He sat as upright as he could in his bed, attempting to be as commanding as he was when in uniform, now in his faded pyjamas.

 _She sat in the armchair in the corner of his room, perched at the edge, to be closer to him. When he had invited her to take a seat she had almost wanted to sit at the end of his bed, or in his lap, she wasn't sure. She pushed these thoughts away and began speaking in a no nonsense tone_

 _" **Anna and Ethel will wait the table and I will supervise, what's wrong with that?"**_

" **Nothing. Except that it's how a chartered accountant would have his dinner served"**

" _ **I can think of worse insults,"**_ _she said laughingly, amazed at how seriously he took everything._

He looked at her for a moment

" **If you say so. But I don't want Lang allowed anywhere near it."**

They both shook their heads and looked away.

" **Mr Bates, where are you when we need you?"** he sighed, looking at the ceiling

 _She got up to leave, sensing the end of the conversation._

" **Can you bring me the wine ledgers and I'll make a selection."** He said quickly as he saw her rise.

For once she was taller than him, and he had to look up at her, allowing his displeasure at being useless to show on his face

" _ **His Lordship's already done that,"**_ _she said assuredly, seeing his head raise in alarm. She knew he felt redundant but knew he needed the rest._

" _ **Just try to rest,"**_ _she continued calmly at his expression_

" **To rest? Or to feel redundant?"** he quipped annoyedly

" _ **Both, if it'll slow you down for a minute and a half. The world does not turn on the style of a dinner."**_ _She tried to be gentle with him, but ultimately he needed the rest, and if she had to forcibly make sure he rested she would._

" **My world does,"** he replied, looking shocked at her insinuation.

 _She sighed and left him there, brushing away the hope she had felt that he would make her stay when his hand had raised to ask her for the wine ledgers. She had wanted him to grab her hand, to show her that she might mean more than a fancy dinner._

As she left, he watched her, knowing that he had once again told her that she was less important than a dinner to him. He wanted to scream that it wasn't true, but what choice did he have. Dinner's were important to him but she was so much more so. Her ability to find humour in his pomp and to gently tease him was one of his favourite things, and tonight she had done just that. To see her sitting in his mother's armchair next to his bed, the way she sat with his father when he was ill drew a parallel he could not ignore. He wanted this woman in a way he couldn't have her, and that hurt him more than knowing maids would be serving in the dining room.

He sighed. But really, maids in the dining room was pretty awful.

* * *

 **A/N: can we just appreciate the sass from Clarkson in the previous scene though? I giggled every time I saw it.**


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: Not much in the scenes in this chapter and the next, so I'm publishing them both this week. Thank you to all the lovely people who have read, reviewed, favourited and followed this story. If anyone has anything they want to see in a particular scene, let me know and I'll see if I can put it in :)**

* * *

 **Season 2, Episode 3**

* * *

"I'm going down to the village this afternoon if anyone wants anything," Anna offered to the room.

Breakfast was over and they were sitting waiting for the bells to start ringing. Mr Carson sat regally as always, Mrs Hughes to his right.

" _ **Some stamps would be kind. I'll get you the money,"**_ _Mrs Hughes responded, moving to leave the room. She had exhausted her supply of stamps writing to Becky each month and needed to replenish her stock._

As she rose, Mrs Carson began to speak, not turning away from Mrs Hughes in time to see her chest pushed towards him as she got up.

"I'd like to thank you all for your work this morning," he declared

"It's so strange to see the rooms converted into dormitories," Ethel said

"But, good. It was wrong for our life to chug along as if the war were only happening to other people," Anna agreed

The conversation continued to flow but Mr Carson was waiting for Mrs Hughes to re-enter the room before he felt comfortable leaving. She was always a steadying presence for him, and though he knew he could work without her, he preferred to do so with her at his side.

He wondered briefly who she might be writing to, and did his best to ignore the wave of jealousy that rose as he remembered the gentlemen who made her 'sparkly eyed.' He dearly hoped that man was out of the picture for good, he wanted to be the only one who made her sparkly eyed.

 _Little did he know, he already did. Every jest they shared when her eyes crinkled in the corners, and her deep blue eyes shone, she was sparkly eyed. He just never saw it._


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Second chapter for this week. Probably should add another disclaimer since I haven't done it in 40 chapters**

 **Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owner, Lord Fellowes, I claim no right I am merely adding fuel to his words and playing.**

 **That should do it :D**

* * *

 **Season 2, Episode 3**

* * *

"But where are they going to eat?" Mrs Patmore asked.

 _They were attempting to figure out the logistics of the new guests and had gathered in the kitchen. Mrs Hughes was nearest to the sink and Mr Carson was closest to the door, as if ready to make an escape._

" **I understand from Mrs Crawley, that they'll share the dining room with the officers who are almost well"**

He raised his eyebrows showing his discontent with the idea at her and she nodded. He was appalled at the way Mrs Crawley had wrested control from his family and was giving marching orders as if she were the manager.

"So, am I running a canteen now?" Mrs Patmore asked annoyedly

 _Mrs Hughes went to say something but was interrupted by a small giggle from beside her. She looked askance at Daisy._

"William says he's got time off between the end of his training and going overseas"

" _ **He'll be with his father surely?"**_ _she asked, hands clasped in front of he. She did wonder what was between William and Daisy. The last she'd heard was that William was a great deal more invested than Daisy was in their friendship. She hoped the young girl wouldn't lead him on._

"He's going home first but he wants to come here for his last night," Daisy replied

" _ **You wouldn't mind that, would you Mr Carson?"**_ _she asked as she moved to stand near him._

" **Certainly not. I'd be glad to wish him well on his way,"** he assured, watching her dodge around the business of the kitchen and come towards him. He looked back at his letter once more, not allowing the smile he felt to come to his face. He saw Mr Branson enter the kitchen through the hallway and handed him a letter as he passed.

" **Ah for you, Mr Branson."**

 _They almost touched as he brushed past Mr Branson. She watched him stride off down the hallway and exited the kitchen herself, towards her sitting room._


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: Not much in this chapter sorry, but still an important quote from Mrs Hughes at the end.**

* * *

 **Season 2, Episode 3**

* * *

"Are you still here Mr Branson?" Miss O'Brien asked as she, Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes entered the servant's hall.

" **Why don't you stay and have something to eat,"** Mr Carson offered as he stood behind his chair. She had just slipped past and sat down.

"Mr Branson's been telling us the news from Russia," Ethel began

" **And what news is that?"** Carson asked

"Kerensky's been made prime minister. But it won't go far enough for me. Lennon denounces the bourgeoisie as well as the Zhar. He wants a people's revolution. That's what I'm waiting for. Won't be long now." Branson explained

" **And what's happened to the Zhar?"** Carson asked, continuing the conversation though he did not wish to know

"Imprisoned in the Alexander Palace with all his family"

"Oh what a dreadful thing," Mrs Patmore said quietly

"They won't hurt them, why would they?" Branson assured

"To make an example?" Anna offered

"Give them some credit. This is a new dawn, a new age of government. No one wants to start it with the murder of a bunch of young girls," Branson said firmly

"You don't know that," Lang broke in, "nobody know who'll get killed when these things start. Look at her nephew," he says nodding towards Mrs Patmore, "shot for cowardice. Who would have guessed that when he was saying hello to the neighbours? Or kissing his mother goodnight"

A silence ensued for a moment as it sunk in. "Can you look at the crumble?" Daisy clattered in asking, "I think it should come out, but it's five minutes earlier than you said"

Mrs Patmore ran from the room crying, her sobs heard by all.

Finally Mr Lang spoke again, "I'm sorry, I never thought-"

" _ **But you should think Mr Lang"**_ _Mrs Hughes said as she rose from her seat_ _ **, "you're not the only member of the walking wounded in this house."**_

 _With that she left the servant's hall after Mrs Patmore. The poor woman needed her right now._

Mr Carson continued serving the stew, trying to preserve a semblance of normalcy in the absence of the housekeeper and the cook. He would hold the fort while she looked after the cook. They each had their roles, and right now she was doing what she thought was needed, and he remained to hold order.


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: This chapter is a combination of two shorter scenes as they would be 200 word chapters on their own. Enjoy**

* * *

 **Season 2, Episode 3**

* * *

The family swept through the door to welcome the convalescents to their home. Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes were already outside, supervising the men as they spilled from the cars they had been brought in. The two of them stood proudly, observing the chaos entering their realm.

 _She glanced at his steady profile, noting the small frown in the lines of his brow, and desperately wanted to step closer to him, wind her arm around his waist and offer him comfort for the approaching storm of work. He had barely looked at her, as was usual with his butler façade, but she wished he would so she could offer a small smile, some reassurance that all would be well._

As they stood, he wished he could pull her close to him for strength, knowing, sensing as a butler could that something was coming. The war had reached them, the wounded men coming from the trucks showing just that. He wanted to reach for her hand and tell her that all would be well. They would work together as they always did to keep things ship shape for the family.

* * *

Carson stood to attention in the servant's hall, listening to Mrs Crawley's orders. His brow was knit with suppressed fury at being ordered by a low member of the family. He took orders from the Granthams' and Mrs Crawley expected the same subservience, which he was struggling to give.

Mrs Hughes entered the room swiftly behind Lady Grantham. He glanced up and first saw the anger in her Ladyship's eyes, before looking past her to the housekeeper. They shared a small look that showed their worry before turning back to the Crawley women

"What's going on?" Cora asked tightly

"I was arranging the household duties," Mrs Crawley began, "where they overlap with the duties of the nursing staff-"

"Shall we continue this upstairs?" Cora interrupted

"Well I've made some charts and-" Mrs Crawley looked up to see Cora staring her down

"Of course," she amended, following Lady Grantham out of the room.

 _Mrs Hughes stepped out of the way of the door, allowing the women to pass her, before following them. She wanted to look back at him, knowing she'd see his suppressed anger at one of 'his family' being challenged. In all truth she'd found the exchange between Mrs Crawley and Lady Grantham to be a bit comical, and drew her lips to a thin line to hold her smile. She knew if she turned to see the stormy clouds of anger forming in Mr Carson's eyes, she would have burst out laughing._


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: I don't have much to say this week, guys. Read and review if you like :)**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 3

* * *

The house awoke to terrible screaming. There was movement immediately in all quarters, and as Mr Carson emerged from his room, pulling on his dressing gown, the adjoining door was opened by the housekeeper.

" **What's going on?"** Mr Carson asked Thomas, who was already in the corridor

"It's Mr Lang," Thomas replied absentmindedly

He could hear the worried tones of the housekeeper as she spoke to Anna, hurrying down the hallway with many of the maids in tow.

" _ **What in Heaven's name's happening?"**_ _She asked to the room at large_

"No, no can't do it" Mr Lang yelled as he thrashed about on his bed, soaked in sweat. Mr Carson opened the door and went in. He went straight to the man on the bed, attempting to wake him

" **Mr Lang, Mr Lang wake up, you're having a bad dream. Mr Lang you're having a dream,"** Mr Carson said, trying to assure the man and wake him.

 _The man was delirious, grabbing the Butler's arm and yelling that he didn't want to go back. She stood near the doorway, still carrying her lamp, watching the poor man suffer. It was shell shock, the worst she'd seen it. Her hand hovered near her open mouth, she didn't know how to help Mr Lang or the butler._

Miss O'Brien went forward and held Mr Lang's other arm

"No one's asking you to go back Mr Lang," he assured gently

"No just to put a sock in it," Thomas intoned

"Don't worry Mr Lang, you've had a bad dream, that's all," Miss O'Brien said

He seemed to wake up to the sound of her voice, and turned to her wearily, "is it a dream?"

 _She hovered close by, wanting to help. The poor man, he had been working much too soon. The horror she had seen in him at the notion of being sent back was awful to witness._

At the man's whisper of 'thank god,' Mr Carson looked up at the worried housekeeper. He tilted his head minutely at her to ask her to take the women back to their room. He could handle this. She went without another word, leading the servant's back to their beds before returning to the room.

She heard Mr Lang's heartbreaking calls of, "sorry, I'm sorry," as she re-entered the room. This was not a night she'd forget easily, and she doubted the Butler would either. She stood as close as she dared to the Butler, seeking comfort in his presence. The worry was etched on both of their faces.

"Is it any wonder when he's been to hell and back," Miss O'Brien spat accusingly at the two of them.

There was nothing they could do. Mr Carson knew he had to ask Mr Lang to leave and dreaded doing so. He allowed his head to fall forwards, looking to the woman beside him for guidance. She wasn't his housekeeper now; she was a woman who had just witnessed the same heartbreaking scene he had.


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: Hey kids, the first section of this chapter is an actual scene with the two of them in it and the second and longer part is exploring the possible emotions of William's departure (with added Charles even though he wasn't in the scene) Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 3

* * *

The very next day they stood outside the house to welcome the general. Apart from the look shared between Acting Corporal Barrow and Mr Carson, it was uneventful.

 _In Mrs Hughes opinion, the General would find it difficult to get a word in edgeways with both Lady Cora and Mrs Crawley escorting him around_

* * *

 _Mrs Patmore, Mrs Hughes and Daisy stood around the table while William drank his tea. Mrs Hughes listened to him talk of the war without fear and hoped for his sake, that he didn't see the worst of it. She looked to Daisy, and saw the fear she had of him and for him._

 _She didn't know what she would do if Charles had to go to war. She would forever be on edge, awaiting his letters or waiting to hear his familiar step outside her door before it creaked open to show his beautiful face._

 _Mrs Patmore's sigh broke her reverie. When the poor woman spoke of her nephew, her voice broke._

Mr Carson had come quietly down the stairs, stopping halfway before he could be seen. He had heard William's voice, his surrogate son. The boy he had nurtured from a boy to a man. Hearing Mrs Patmore speak of her nephew and how distressing was for her was heart wrenching. He furrowed his brow, about to enter the room and offer his support. Before he could however, he heard the maternal tone with a soft Scottish burr that melted his heart. He stood in the shadows of the hall and listened

"When we waved off our Archie, I remember-"

 _Mrs Hughes turned to her kindly and prompted:_ _ **"What do you remember, Mrs Patmore?"**_

" _ **I'll tell you. You remember a fine young man, who enlisted before he had too and who gave his life for his country. Because he'd be alive and well today, if he hadn't chosen to go to war"**_

He agreed wholeheartedly with her statement, however hurried to make himself scarce as he heard them moving to leave. Once successfully barricaded in his pantry, he allowed himself to think about how she would be feeling, sending her boy off to war.

What if it was their own son? William was like a son to them but what if they had a son. A son with her deep sapphire eyes and kind smile. He couldn't bear the thought of loosing such a precious boy, a precious boy like William to something as brutal and avoidable as war.

He took a deep breath, scrunching his eyebrows together to help him refocus, and left the pantry with his butler façade reactivated.


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N: This was originally 2 chapters but I decided to put them together and give you a long chapter instead. It's split into the different scenes, as seen in the show. Enjoy!**

* * *

" _ **Everything alright Mr Branson?"**_ _she asked gently, seeing the familiar look of a determined man_

"I think so, Mrs Hughes," _the chauffeur answered stiffly, pausing at the foot of the stairs before heading up._

* * *

Branson pushed through the green baize door and entered the world of the upper class.

This was it. This was his chance.

He entered the dining room and placed the soup on the sideboard.

* * *

 _Anna raced into her sitting room out of breath and flustered._

"Where's Mr Branson?" _she asked worriedly_

" _ **He's just taken up the soup, why?"**_ _she asked, the young maid's hurry getting to her_

"Read that," _Anna replied sharply, shoving a note at the housekeeper, breathing heavily_

 _Mrs Hughes took in Anna's state and took the note from her, reading aloud_

" _ **They'll have arrested me by now...but I'm not sorry...the bastard had it coming to him..?."**_

 _Mrs Hughes had a moment of shock as the realisation of Branson's plan hit her_

 _She cried out and hurried to the door, knowing her butler would need to know this._

* * *

 _They reached upstairs and jogged as fast and as quietly as possible to the servery, where she expected to find the butler_

In his surprise to see her, and to see her in such a flustered state, he barked at her as quietly as he could, setting down the tray of drinks her had been carrying.

" **What in God's name-"**

He was interrupted by a determined and worried housekeeper shoving a piece of paper under his nose

" _ **Read this,"**_ _she whispered harshly, ignoring his tone_

He turned and took the note form her, reading it through as she asked:

" _ **Where is he now?"**_

 _In her current state of anxiety, she had stepped closer to him than he would normally have allowed in the upstairs vicinity._

He refused to look anywhere but the note, attempting to disengage his peripheral vision in that moment and ignore her heaving chest.

" **Oh my god,"** he muttered as he read the note

* * *

He strode into the dining room as inconspicuously as possible with his size, with Anna following behind him.

He placed his hand firmly over Branson's as he was about to life the lid of the soup dish.

"No," Branson hissed, looking at the older man with a slightly pleading look

" **Yes,"** the butler spat back.

After a moment of struggle, Branson allowed his hand to be removed from the dish and to be removed from the room.

 _Mrs Hughes watched from behind the screens, attempting to slow her breathing as she watched the obstacle be removed._

 _She sighed in relief as Branson was marched bodily from the dining room and Anna, the beautiful soul, always doing what was needed without question, taking the dish with her as she left._

 _Once the three of them were clear of the dining room she hurried to the servants' stairs and went down._

* * *

Once they were in the safety of the servants' stairwell, he allowed his anger to bubble over.

" **Get downstairs now,"** he spat, his usual commanding voice back now that they were away from the family

 _She heard a scuffle from above as Branson and the butler made their noisy entrance into the stairwell._

 _Hearing her normally so calm and collected butler sound so completely evil was a little bit terrifying to her. Though, she reasoned with herself, she would probably be doing the same thing in his position._

Having to forcibly shove and frog march the young man he had grown to have a certain amount of respect for was not a pleasant experience.

As they reached the basement the man yelled out

"Alright, alright, there's no need to be so rough!"

" **There's every need,"** he countered, still too mad to control his tone

He shoved the boy away from him now and further into the kitchen, just as a familiar sight and scent caught his senses

" **To stop a murder!"**

 _She entered the kitchen quietly, just as they reached the archway she stood in. She strode in confidently, ready to present the evidence and stand by the butler's harsh treatment of the Irishman._

"Murder? What do you mean murder?" Branson jeered

"You were going to assassinate the General," Anna accused, placing the soup dish on the counter

"Kill the General?" Branson asked, looking genuinely confused and a little amused at the thought, "I was not"

 _Anna finally opened the dish, Mrs Hughes beside her. Both women grimaced and turned away from the smell_

"I was going to slop that lot all over him," the chauffer conceded

"What is it?" Anna demanded, disgust evident on her face

"Oil and ink and a bit of a cow pat, all mixed with sour milk. He'd have needed a bath right enough, but not a coffin."

Daisy, the first to recover, addressed him kindly, "I thought you'd taken the soup up, but you left it in the pantry."

 _Mrs Hughes moved then, slightly recovered but still fuming at the idea of insulting a General in such a way, even if he was still alive to smell the concoction tipped over him._

" _ **We'll use this. It's not been heated but to hell with that!"**_ _She burst out, slamming the copper pot onto the table_

" _ **And we'll decide what happens to you later."**_ _She clarified to Mr Branson, reaffirming that he was not off the hook and his fate rested in their hands_

" **Never mind later, what about now?"** the butler demanded, also not recovered from the ordeal, **"How do we keep this dinner going?"**

 _Ah yes, his precious standards. Of course, how could she have forgotten such an integral part of the meal after such a small disturbance?_

 _Thankfully, Mrs Hughes was released form responding by the gentle voice of the footman-turned-soldier_

"I'll serve, Mr Carson, I don't mind," William offered, stepping into the kitchen, "Who knows when I'll have the chance again?"

 _Daisy, Mrs Patmore and Mrs Hughes all stared open mouthed at the lad. Pride and sadness ran through the housekeeper, knowing just how true William's statement was. War often left them poorer than it found them, and if they lost this young man they would certainly be poorer._

* * *

 **A/N: Thoughts?**


	53. Chapter 53

**A/N:I'M BAAAAACCCK! Sorry for the wait, I was super busy finishing school and Christmas. Anyway I have a few chapters that I'll upload over the next few days. They're not much but they're chapters so yay!**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 3

* * *

 _Mrs Hughes entered the kitchen quietly after hearing Daisy's stuttered and mildly cohered acceptance of William's proposal._

 ** _"William!"_** _she reprimanded gently and he released Daisy from the fierce hug. The poor girl still looked a little shocked_

 ** _"Do you want to go up top? the General is leaving and Mr Carson likes a full compliment,"_** _she suggested, allowing humour to touch her words as she tilted her head._

 _William collected his hat and stepped past her but when Daisy went to follow, she corrected her, "No Daisy, not you. The war has not changed everything."_

 _She smiled kindly at the girl to take the sting from her words and turned to go._

* * *

 _They stood in a line arcing away from the grand house to see off the General. On one side of Mrs Hughes stood the proud butler and the other, Mr Lang._

 _Mrs Hughes could hear the man quivering beside her but decided to remain where she was. As long as all stayed in hand, the General would be seen off then it could be dealt with._

Sadly, before it could be helped, Lord Grantham broke from his conversation with Matthew to check on Mr Lang.

Mr Carson watched over the housekeeper's head as his Lordship approached the snivelling valet in dismay. He truly felt for the valet, he had been sent home for good reason but was back to work too soon. the night of the heart wrenching screams proved just that.

As soon as Lord Grantham was close, Mr Lang pitched forwards and lay his head on the chest in front of him.

Mr Carson stepped forwards to assist the situation with nothing but pity on his face. This was no longer about the pride of this house and how grand the send off needed to be. This was a man who had seen too much and had had too much asked of him. He knew the woman beside him would have helped as well, if she could, but propriety demanded that she had the remain in her place as if untouched by the situation.

Mr Carson gave Lord Grantham the required excuse to leave and slowly slid to stand with his back to Mr Lang, shielding him from the eyes of the gathered gentry.

They would sort it out later.


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: Instalment #2. Happy New Years Eve! (at least where I'm from)**

* * *

Season 2, Episode 3

* * *

They reconvened in his pantry later that evening. The house was quiet, they were a few of the only ones awake and there was finally some peace restored to them.

He poured a glass of sherry and handed it to the woman sat before him gently.

 _At this time of night his voice softened, and so did his eyes. During the hard working days he was so put together but when it was just the two of them, like this is a quiet house, he was at peace. He was more settled, he was her Charles._

 **"Here. We've earned it,"** he proffered as he sat facing her.

 ** _"So what will you do with him?"_** _she asked_

 **"Branson or Lang?"** he returned, referring to both problems at hand

 ** _"Not Mr Lang. He isn't well but he's not a bad man,"_** _she chided_

 **"Not at all. But he doesn't belong at Downton,"** he concluded and she nodded.

 ** _"I meant Mr Branson,"_** _she continued, taking a sip of sherry_

He hummed, **"It's a delicate business, Mrs Hughes. Would we really be right to tell the police and cause a furore and bring riot down on our heads and all because he wanted to pour a pot of slop over a mans head?"**

 _She sat, head tilted, looking away form him for a moment before responding._

 ** _"From your phrasing, I gather the answer you want from me is no?"_** _she answered, raising her eyebrows at his veiled attempt at concealing his opinion. She allowed he lips to curve into a smile and watched an answering one bloom on his as he replied_

 **"Would it help, Mrs Hughes, that's all I'm asking, would it help?"**

* * *

 **A/N: I just love their little humorous banter**


End file.
